


So Profoundly Lonely

by Amazonia21



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Coruscant, Desk Sex, Dom/sub Play, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Masturbation, Oral Sex, Professor Ren, Romance, Sex in a Car, Sexting, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Vaginal Sex, jealous Rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:12:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6521137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amazonia21/pseuds/Amazonia21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey is a college student lost in her thoughts on a rainy day; Kylo is a graduate teaching fellow annoyed by all the unwanted attention from his students, until he sees Rey one day in the student union and something draws him to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something About You

He spotted her sitting alone in the student union cafe, near the windows, staring at the table - a bit spaced out. He put his coffee to his lips and took a long sip as he watched her from across the cafe. There was something about her that he couldn't place but that had him captivated. Had he met her before? He had this vague nagging feeling that he had seen her before, somewhere. On campus maybe?

A group of giggling girls walked by, a few of them darting their eyes up to him; they were undergrads who he had in his writing classes he was leading as a graduate teaching fellow. One lingered her gaze on him more intently then the rest, finally dropping her eyes and catching up to her friends as she realized he wasn't looking at her but past her at something. He ignored her as well as the rest of them. Their attention was unwanted. He considered such things an annoyance, a distraction he didn't want.

He didn't take his eyes off of the girl sitting alone. Someone dropped a tray behind him, and a quick loud metallic clang sounded. He didn't flinch. The girl he'd been staring at snapped her head to attention in the direction of the sound. She landed her eyes on him and blinked, taking in his tall form as she swallowed quickly. He was staring at her and hadn't taken his eyes off of her. He moved in her direction and she broke off the uncomfortable gaze, looking away even as her breathing and pulse quickened. She could sense he was now next to her table, pulling out a chair.

"Hello," she heard him say, his voice warm and confident.

She turned her eyes to him, trying to look annoyed. "Can I help you?" she asked with defiance in her voice.

"I'm Kylo, may I sit?"

She looked up at him. He was tall - 6'4 maybe? Long and lean yet muscular. She could see the definition of his pecs and strong arms under his black hoodie. He was wearing the hood up, probably due to the chilly weather outside. She looked at his glasses and saw her reflection and behind that his dark eyes. Like warm chocolate, locked on her, a smirk on his full lips, and she felt herself flush with heat and blush. She didn't answer him but nodded at the chair as he sat down. She folded her arms to hide her rising chest - it felt like her heart was beating out of her chest.

He set his coffee cup down. "You're not having anything?" he asked. She shrugged, still not quite able to talk. "Can I get you some coffee?" he asked.

She could smell coffee emanating from his cup even though it had a to go lid, was that cardamom mixed with cinnamon that she smelled? It was intoxicating. "I'm okay, thank you." There was not much politeness in her tone.

He smiled and reached up to take his hood off his head, letting his dark curls fall down onto his face. He ran his thick long fingers through his hair. She blinked as she stared at his face, trying not to have her own face betray the emotion she was sure was rolling off of her.

Kylo had always been able to read people as long as he could remember. Their emotions, their thoughts. It was a blessing and a curse, and made it difficult to get close to people and have them really understand him. His own parents hadn't understood him. He'd learned to use his abilities to his advantage though, and to block out noise he didn't want to hear. She was good at blocking her thoughts, but he could still hear them and - feel them? Usually people's thoughts didn't affect him physically, but this girl, this strange and beautiful creature, he could feel her loneliness and fear.

She swallowed hard. The silence was making her uncomfortable and she felt like he was trying to read her feelings. She shifted in her seat and looked out the window at the grey drizzle coming down, suddenly wishing she could feel the sun and the heat she'd been so used to growing up alone back in Nima, Jakku. Something familiar. Because nothing here was, especially the feelings she was getting from him - Kylo was it? He still had his eyes on her - calm, as he turned his head slightly and considered her. She looked at him again.

"You're so profoundly sad," he said, tenderness in his voice.

She became self conscious. _Was he mocking her?_ She glared at him slightly, making it clear she was offended.

"So lonely," he muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"You're lonely." He repeated, leaning forward in his seat as she leaned back more in hers.

"Because I'm sitting alone you just assume I'm lonely and need your company?"

He smiled at her accent. It was another intriguing thing about her. "Yes," he said, putting both hands around his coffee cup to warm them.

"Well you don't know anything about me," she retorted.

"You're so right. Why don't you tell me something." He was amused at her defiance. She wasn't easily swayed like the silly undergraduate girls he usually encountered that seemed to fangirl in his presence. She was a challenge, and Kylo loved a challenge.

"I'm not telling you anything," she said as she shifted again in her seat, leaning forward towards him.

He smirked again. "We'll see. Can we start with your name?"

She hesitated. "Rey," she said pursing her lips. She found herself biting her lip as he smiled at her name.

"Rey. Pleased to meet you. What do you do here Rey?"

She sighed. "I'm a student."

"Undergrad?"

She nodded, trying to avoid his gaze as he seemed to be looking her up and down in a way that made her feel like a piece of meat. It was making her feel a heat building deep in her body which she tried pushing away and replacing with annoyance.

"Obviously," she said.

"What are you studying?"

 _Ugh, could he be done with the questions already?_ He drew his bottom lip into his mouth awaiting her answer and it emerged slightly plumper, wetter and pinker and she found herself staring at the sight of his lips and wondering if he wanted to kiss her, which made her eyes dart to his arms and think of him holding her in them, which made her feel shame so she quickly looked down at the table and saw his large hands gingerly cupping his coffee cup and playing with the cardboard holder. The sight of his long fingers made her think about him drawing circles around her buzzing clit and tracing her slit down to her wet.. she gasped lightly at the dirty thoughts she was having. Where were these feelings coming from? Where had he come from and why was he here?

"Engineering, with a minor in art."

He raised his eyebrows at her revelation. He was even more intrigued in her now. "I'm impressed," he said, looking at her a bit in awe.

She looked at him a bit confused. "Why?" 

He smiled and chuckled. "Those aren't usually two interests you find in the same person."

She shrugged at his suggestion. She was always being told she was a contradiction.

"What type of art?"

"Mmm...sculptures mostly."

"What medium?"

She was now the one that was impressed. Most people stopped after asking a general art question. "Junk art mainly."

He looked slightly puzzled. _This beautiful creature liked building things from junk?_

Sensing he was judging her, she wanted to hurry away from here, from this beautiful and mysterious dark haired man.

"That's interesting..." he said. "And engineering? What made you want to pursue that major?" he asked.

"Is there a reason you're asking me all these questions?" she spat out.

There was that smirking smile of his again. "Professional curiosity I suppose."

"What are you, a professional question asker?"

"Close, I'm a graduate teaching fellow."

She hadn't seen him in any of her classes, so now she wondered what department he was in. "Of what?"

He smiled at her finally asking him questions. "Writing and literature."

"So you're a writer?"

"On occasion. Teaching hasn't left much time for other...pursuits."

Just then, a pretty girl walked up to the table wearing a skirt that was far too short given the weather outside. She turned towards Kylo as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "Hi Professor Ren," she trilled out.

Rey looked up at the girl. It was obvious this girl was enamored with him and Rey suddenly felt annoyed.

"That was such a great lecture yesterday," the perky girl said as she kept staring straight at Kylo like Rey wasn't even sitting right there.

"Thank you," Rey heard Kylo say as she looked toward him. He hadn't taken his eyes off of her own face. She glanced back at the girl who was now becoming discouraged and turned her eyes to the object of Kylo's gaze, looking Rey over quickly before turning on her heel to walk off.

"Fan of yours?" Rey asked with an eyebrow raised as she watched the girl huff away.

"Just a student," he said dismissively.

"Mmmhmm," Rey hummed judgementally through pursed lips. _With so many female admirers, it clearly must be a hobby of his to hit on undergraduate co-eds._ She didn't want to be just another silly girl fantasizing about a professor. "Well it's been...interesting I guess," she said as she started to reach for her book bag with one hand.

"It's not a hobby of mine," he said, putting his right hand onto her left hand on top of the table and giving her a light squeeze which sent a gentle jolt of energy through her entire body. She froze and looked up at him, shocked. _Had she said that out loud? And why did he think it was okay to touch her?_ She quickly looked down at her hand which was covered by his large hand. A strange humming, vibrating sensation came over her.

"It's okay, I feel it too," he said quietly but reassuringly. She pulled her hand away and stood up, looking down at him as he stared up at her.

"I have to go," she said.

"I'll walk with you," he offered.

"No, I'm fine," she said as she turned and pulled her messenger bag over her shoulder and hurried away.

"Bye Rey," she heard him call out, and hearing his masculine voice saying her name again made her insides flutter.

\---

She didn't stop walking fast the entire ten blocks from campus until she got back to her apartment, never looking back for fear that he'd be following her and she just wouldn't know what to do with that. She unlocked the three deadbolts on her apartment door, growing frustrated and wanting to be inside as quickly as possible. She threw herself through the door as soon as she could open it and slammed it shut, breathing hard as she quickly locked all the deadbolts and fastened the chain before leaning her back against the door.

She dropped her bag to the ground. She was wet from the drizzling rain, but the cold had done nothing to cool her burning skin. She touched her fingers to her lips, they were swollen and rain slicked. She licked them, liking the earthy taste of the rain on them and wondering how kissing Kylo would taste. His face and intense gaze swirled in her head. She let out a moan as she felt a swelling heat in her sex.

She dragged her left hand, the hand he had touched and she could swear she still felt the heat from, down to her pants, pushing the button open and shoving her hand down into her panties. God, thinking of him had made her so wet. She stroked her clit, closing her eyes and imaging Kylo's long fingers where her own were. She moaned again as she dipped a finger inside her wet, warm sex and thought of how good it would feel to have him push into her.

Behind her she felt the wood door vibrate with a quiet knock. She froze in fear, her finger still inside of herself. Oh god, who would be interrupting her now? Finn? Her neighbor and friend from across the hall liked to treat her apartment, and contents of her refrigerator and pantry, as if they were his own. She felt another soft knock and pulled her hand away, wiping her wetness on her pants as she turned to glance through the peep hole. Her heart began beating wildly as she saw Kylo standing outside her door. She panicked. What was he doing here??

"Rey?" he asked.

_Crap,_ she thought.

"I can see you," he said.

She cursed that she had been standing against the door, doing what she was doing while imagining him.

She undid the first two deadbolt locks and ran her hands over her mess of wet hair before unlocking the third lock and opening the door as far as the chain would let her. She took in his amused face starting at her.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded in a confused hiss. "Did you follow me?" He was freaking her out. What was he, some kind of creepy stalker of students who rebuffed him?

"You left this behind," he said, holding up her art sketch book. "Your address was written inside."

Damn. She looked and felt flustered. It must have fallen from her bag when she'd snatched it up so quickly. "Oh, um well thank you."

He was looking her wet self up and down and stopped at her waist, his eyebrows rising.

"It looks like I, uh, might have caught you at a bad time," he said, amused.

She followed his gaze and looked down to where his eyes rested on her open pants and exposed panties. She ducked her lower half behind the door, growing red with embarrassment burning in her cheeks. "I was just starting to change out of my wet clothes," she protested.

"Well don't let me stop you, I'll just drop this off and be on my way," he said through the open crack in the door.

She closed the door, quickly zipping up and buttoning her pants before undoing the chain lock and opening the door for him.

His tall frame brushed past her leaving an intoxicating scent of rain, warm leather and wood. She shut the door. When she turned around he was standing in her living room, taking in her apartment. He was still holding her sketch book. Seeing him standing amongst her things, in her private space, felt so intimate. She gulped, not sure what to say or do next.

"I liked your sketches. It takes a true visionary to make junk look beautiful, and you do it well," he said as he slipped his black messenger bag over his head and set it down.

"Well, thanks I guess."

He put her sketch book down on her desk, his fingers tracing over the brown leather cover as if he didn't want to let it go.

"Would you um, like some tea?" she offered.

He smiled. "No thanks, I just had that coffee."

"Oh right...so, um, thanks again for bringing that back," she motioned to her sketch book.

He had turned to the bookcase in the corner of the room and was looking over the titles. "You're interested in travel," he said assessing her large collection of travel books nestled among art books and engineering textbooks.

"Yeah," she says softly, as if it's a deep secret he's discovered. "But I haven't been many places - yet." Her heart flutters as he picks up a book about Takodana.

"Have you been here?" he asks of the forested planet that has more green on it than she knew existed in the galaxy.

"No," she admitted, moving towards him to see what part of the book he was looking at.

"So interesting...I haven't either but I feel as if I have looking at this..." he pointed at the book and she came near him to see a full page spread of a forest clearing, with rocks and moss and gorgeous greens.

"I've had such vivid dreams about that forest," she admitted.

"Really?" He turned to look at her, putting the book back in it's place, searching her face again. Why was she so familiar to him?

She looked up at him as he pulled his hood down off his head, the thick curls on his forehead slightly wet from the rain. She felt the energy humming between them again and almost melted as he reached out to her face and tucked a wet tendril of hair behind her ear, caressing her check as he pulled his hand away. She leaned into his hand as he cupped her cheek, and closed her eyes. He stepped closer towards her and she could feel his warmth radiating off of his body.

"Rey..." he said, leaning over her, rubbing his thumb across her cheek. A cold, wet drop of water from his hair hit her forehead and she stepped back, pulling away.

"So sorry, let me get you a towel," she mumbled as she turned to walk through the open door into her bedroom. He followed her, and as she grabbed two clean towels off the rack in her bathroom and turned through the doorway back into her room he was standing there, smiling at her. She swallowed hard.

"Here you go," she said, holding out a towel to him.

He took it, holding it in his hand for a minute as he watched her start to towel off her wet hair and peel off her jacket, dropping it in the laundry basket behind her. He rubbed the towel through his hair, drying the curls on his forehead that his hood hadn't covered on his way over. He dabbed at his sleeves before unzipping his black hoodie and taking it off, revealing a short sleeved grey t-shirt underneath which clung to his pecs, chiseled abs, broad shoulders and biceps.

She was about to protest as he dropped his damp hoodie onto her rug but she couldn't. That heat was rising in her again.

He stepped towards her and she gulped as he pulled the towel from her hands and tossed it, along with his towel, into the laundry basket. He put a hand on her cheek again as she looked down and he pulled her face up towards his. She searched his eyes behind his sexy glasses for something, for an answer to a mystery she just didn't understand.

"Why me?" she asked. _Why, with a bevy of attractive, 10-rating co-eds eagerly at his disposal, was he showing any interest in her?_

"Why not you?"

"I'm no one, I'm not anything special."

Kylo frowned at this. _Couldn't she see how interesting she was?_

"I sense something in you I guess. A shared something. You just looked so profoundly sad and lonely sitting there, lost in your thoughts."

Her eyes watered slightly as she scaredly searched deeper into his eyes. "You're lonely too. And afraid," she said confusedly. It scared her that she could sense this about him. This was all so intense she scarcely knew how to handle it.

Kylo's jaw set, and she worried that she had upset him. He stared at her with a fire that frightened her, that she hadn't yet seen from him. She almost wanted to hide from him or push him away, but he put his other hand at her back and pulled her to him, his mouth touching hers with an urgency and her mouth responding just as eagerly as she felt her form meld to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first full length fanfic work, I was inspired to write this on while on a walk and couldn't wait to get this story out. Excited to see where it will go!


	2. I Want To Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's still in Rey's bedroom...but maybe this could be more than a quick tryst?

Rey's mind spun with lust and hunger and confusion as she and Kylo furiously searched each other's mouths. She began to pull away to catch her breath as she felt her knees going weak, putting her hands on his firm chest and pushing back. He gripped the back of her shirt tighter, clinging to her and keeping her close as he bit her bottom lip while she gasped for air.

"I need..." she barely eeked out the words, the rest of them falling away as he moved his mouth to her ear and neck, gently kissing and sucking with just the right amount of pressure to not mark her.

"Yes? You need what?" Kylo whispered in her ear, as he made quick work deftly unbuttoning her sheer gauzy boho off-white blouse with his long fingers, exposing her white mesh demi bra. He smiled against her neck at the sight of her as he pushed the blouse off her shoulders and it floated to the floor.

"You...to..." She suddenly felt weak in the knees again at the sound of his voice and the feel of his breath and lips on her neck. She wobbled, grabbing his shoulders to steady herself. Without missing a beat he picked her up like she weighed nothing, moving one hand underneath her ass and keeping one hand on her back as he moved his mouth to hers again. She eagerly returned the kiss, clinging her legs to his sides as he backed up to the corner of the bed and sat down with her still on top of him.

Rey reached down to pull the hem of his shirt up, only pulling her mouth away from his to yank the shirt up over his head, dropping it to the floor behind her. She was in awe at the sight of his pale, toned flesh. She ran her hand from his shoulders to his pecs down to his hard abs, feeling them contract under her touch sent a charge through her and she wrapped her other hand in his hair, kissing him with a ferocity she didn't know existed in her. Her was happily matching her intensity, moaning as she adjusted herself so she could push up against his hard erection in his dark denim slightly skinny jeans. He reached behind her, unhooking her sheer bra and pulling it off of her and tossing it onto the floor where it landed on his black hoodie.

"Kylo," she gasped his name as she arched her back and drew in a deep breath. He pulled one of her stiff pink nipples into his mouth, sucking gently before moving to the other one. She responded by pulling harder on his hair and burying her mouth in the crook of his neck and shoulder, kissing and hissing against his skin, loving the taste of him.

Just then she felt a vibrating under her left thigh. She paused as he stopped what he was doing, and the vibrating happened again.

"Sorry," Kylo muttered, sounding bitterly disappointed as he pulled back from her and reached his hand into the pocket of his jeans. He pulled out his phone, a black iPhone in a matte black case with a chrome rim that looked battered and dinged, as if he dropped his phone a lot and it had seen some damage.

He groaned as he looked at the phone, silencing the vibrating. Rey held her breath, balancing on him still and suddenly feeling too cold and exposed so she pulled her arms up to cover her breasts, balling her hands under her chin. Waiting to see what it was.

"Everything okay?" she asked quietly, fearing the answer. _Did he have a girlfriend? Was that her calling right now?_

"It's just my alarm. I have to teach a class in 15 minutes," he said, running his hand through his hair and looking off into the distance, disappointed.

"Oh," she said, fighting off the crushing disappointment now washing over her. "Okay..." She tried not to get teary eyed.

"It's not, I'm sorry," he murmured, returning his attention to her and looking into her sad eyes as he stroked the sides of her arms which had developed goosebumps in the last minute since their passion had been brought to a halt, warming them. "I lost track of the time I guess..." he smiled.

"Well, it's not as if we planned this, so..." she looked down as he kissed her forehead and pulled her head into his chest, resting his chin on her hair as he pet it tenderly. She wrapped her arms around him. She hadn't felt this...what was it? safe? - in a long time. Or maybe ever.

"I want to take you on a date," he said, his deep voice vibrating on the top of her head where his chin rested. "Tonight." He kissed his lips to her hair.

Her head spun. "A date? Like a date-date?" She hadn't been on many dates at all since she'd arrived at the University of Coruscant a year and a half ago. Most undergrad guys thought inviting a girl over to "Netflix and chill" with Top Ramen for dinner constituted a date, so Rey had avoided dating. She'd had some physical encounters to fill a need, but hadn't found anyone who could do more than that. A date - especially with him - was a big deal.

"Yeah, I know it's something different for me, too," he said as if he was reading her mind again.

_Because you just sleep with undergrads, you don't wine them and dine them first? _she thought.__

"No Rey," he said, pulling back to look into her eyes, his eyes deeply searching hers, his fingers under her chin, imploring her to believe him. "I don't do relationships, really. Of any kind. And I actively avoid undergraduates, actually," he said smiling. "I'm not interested in them. Plus, it's kind of frowned upon for obvious reasons to fraternize with your students when you're a teacher." He gently kissed her forehead and her nose and finally her lips, bringing a smile to her face with the way he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, and how he was so keen to soothe her fears so sweetly.

"I want to know _you _, Rey," he said. "Really know you."__

She nodded, leaning her head back down to his chest. "I know. Me too."

"I have to go," he whispered, pulling his fingers through her silky hair, which had mostly dried and was now slightly wavy from the rain.

"I know." She shifted off of him, covering her breasts with her forearms again as he stood and reached for his shirt off the floor. He towered above her and she watched him turn the shirt inside out and slip it over his head, pulling one strong arm through at a time before pulling it down over his perfect abs. He picked up her gauzy boho blouse and held it in front of him.

"Arms please," he said teasingly. She looked up at him and stuck her arms out, and he slipped one sleeve on at a time before kneeling down in front of her with his knees on the rug to kiss down her chest and stomach as he buttoned each button slowly. She sighed at each kiss, shivering with pleasure as he kissed her taut nipples through the thin material, giggling at the ticklish feeling it gave her.

"So can I take you out tonight, 7:30?" he asked, his face peering up at her, those chocolate eyes desperate for an answer behind those dark rimmed glasses.

She wanted to scream out yes, but blushed as she restrained herself and bit her swollen bottom lip and nodded her head up and down quickly, smiling.

"I'll pick you up here then," he said, smiling and reaching for his hoodie off the floor with one hand while picking up her bra with one finger on his other hand and holding it out to her. She pulled it away from him as he stood up and zipped his hoodie on. _Stars, he looks so damn sexy._

He smiled at her again and turned to walk out towards the front door, stopping by her desk to pick up his messenger bag from the floor. He sighed as he reached the door, Rey right behind him, both of them wishing he could stay.

"I'm really glad I met you Rey," he said turning to her, cupping her cheek again with his hand and stroking her face with his thumb. He leaned down and softly kissed her lips again, it was so intoxicating kissing him she felt like she had an amazing buzz. An endorphin high.

"Me too," she whispered against his lips.

He broke away, looking at down his phone. "Seven minutes to make it all the way across campus," he said.

"Don't want to keep your many admirers waiting," she teased as she opened the door for him and he moved into the hallway.

"It's you I don't want to keep waiting," he said smiling as he looked over his shoulder and walked down the stairs. She watched him from her doorway as he pulled up his hoodie over his dark wavy hair and disappeared out of her sight down the staircase. She brought the knuckle of her right index finger up to her mouth, smiling as she bit down on it, marveling in sheer amazement and happiness at the way this afternoon had transpired.

She turned to go back into her apartment when she heard the door across the hall from hers open up. Finn poked his head out into the hallway with a inquisitive, delighted look on his face.

"And who was that Miss Rey?" he said smiling. "Does Rey have a new boyfriend? Cute boyfriend?"

"None of your business, that's who," she snapped back playfully, blushing at being teased.

Finn jerked up. "Whoa Rey, no wonder you snagged a boyfriend in less than a day - you're not wearing a bra and your shirt is totally see through!"

"Perv!" she retorted, covering herself and pulling back into her apartment and laughing, shutting the door.

"Have fun tonight, Peanut," he called out to her. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh fluffy Reylo smut. Kind of a tease. More action to come in the next chapter. Thanks for your encouraging comments and kudos - I really appreciate the feedback!! :)


	3. I Must Have You

Rey walked back into her bedroom and looked around in a daze. She sat down on the edge of the bed where they had both just been, she could still feel the warmth of Kylo’s body on the duvet. She looked over at her discarded bra lying on the bed, and panicked. _What does one wear on a date with a tall, dark, handsome, mysterious, sexy professor who makes your knees weak?_

\-- 

Hours later, it was almost 7:30. She applied a final coat of mascara in the bathroom mirror and then swiped on a pink lip tint balm that amplified the pretty natural raspberry pink color of her lips and smacked them together, assessing herself. She had styled her shoulder length hair in a wavy style that seemed effortlessly sexy with her bangs swept over to the side, and she had done a light smoky eye with shades of brown that complimented her natural brown eye color. She went easy on the blush, opting for a soft pink, since Kylo seemed to bring out a natural blush, and heat, in her anyways. Even thinking about him now was making her flushed, and she felt a nervous excitement in her stomach. 

Satisfied with her hair and makeup, she flipped off the bathroom light and walked into her room picking up the reddish-brown leather moto jacket she had laid out on the bed and slipping it on before the full length mirror on the back of her bedroom door. It fit her perfectly she knew, and was just the right touch of edge to top off the feminine soft pink pointelle scoop neck shirt she had chosen which stopped on her flat stomach showing just a flash of skin before her black stretchy jean leggings started. 

Underneath her shirt she had worn her prettiest white lace balconette bra that gave a boost to her soft but smallish chest and covered her nipples but left the rounded tops of her breasts exposed. Under her jeans she had on the matching cheeky panties that were like a high cut boyshort that hugged her hips and cheeks perfectly. After the heavy makeout session in her room earlier, she wanted to be prepared again tonight in case anything transpired...

She stepped into the one pair of black patent leather pointed high heels she owned, turning around in front of the mirror to gauge the full effect of her outfit, her eyes catching at the flash of iconic (and super sexy) lipstick red colored soles of the heels. She’d picked them up at a consignment shop where rich Coruscant women dropped off their unworn or hardly worn designer goods. The clerk had gushed about them being unworn Christian Louboutin heels for a steal at $70, some model’s castoffs. They were worth ten times that amount apparently which was insanity to her. She normally didn’t think much about fashion. She had her own style and knew what she liked and stuck with what worked, but for a real date, with Kylo Ren no less, she wanted to look at least a little bit sexy.

She heard a knock and her breath caught in her chest when she opened the door. “Breathe, just breathe,” she reminded herself. 

He looked like something straight out of the pages of GQ magazine. He was wearing a dark black v-neck tee with a lighter black slim cut blazer over it, black skinny jeans that seemed made just for him, and black Italian leather boots that looked broken in and worn just the perfect amount. 

She forced her eyes up to his face, and he had a sexy smile partially covered by his fingers pressed at his lips. He was appraising her in a way that made her blush and feel flustered. 

“You’re stunning Rey,” he said, the words dripping with admiration as he looked at her. She blushed even harder and smiled. 

“You don’t look bad yourself,” she replied coyly. “Just let me grab my purse and we can go.” She turned around to grab her clutch off her desk as he entered her apartment and shut the door. Before she could turn around he was behind her, pressing against her lightly with his hands at her hips and his face in her neck and hair. 

“Mmmm...I’m not sure we should go for a minute.” He was breathing her in, and his full, soft lips tickled her exposed neck as he pulled her hair back. Rey felt frozen in place as if under a spell, unable to move, enjoying him toying with her like this. “You smell like apple mixed with jasmine and suede...you have no idea what a turn on it is,” he whispered into her ear, making her weak in the knees. 

His own scent was intoxicating her as well. It was faint, not quite a cologne, just a hint of cardamom, leather, wood, tobacco and vanilla. She rolled her head to the side as he began kissing her neck. “Kylo,” she whispered breathily. He smiled at her neck and pulled her around, kissing her on the forehead. 

“Ready to go? We don’t want to be late…” he took her hand and smirked at her dazed expression.

When they got out to the street, she saw a black Audi A8 parked at the curb in front of her apartment building. He pulled keys from his pocket and the lights on the car flashed as he unlocked it. 

“Nice car,” she said, impressed yet again with him, but she was also struck with a little worry that he was more out of her league than she originally estimated. _And how did a graduate student afford a car like this? Rich parents?_

“Nice shoes,” he replied with a smirk, opening her door. She got in and spied a black box wrapped with a red satin ribbon sitting on the center console. He slid in the car and put the box in her lap. 

“For you,” he said gently. Rey was quiet, holding the box cautiously. She hadn’t really received many gifts in her life. She slowly untied the soft satin ribbon and it fell into her lap. She lifted the lid and pulled back the tissue wrapping to reveal a new soft brown leather sketchbook. “Your other one was almost full,” he said watching her study it. 

She looked over at him in rapture and leaned in to give him a soft kiss on the lips. “Thank you Kylo. It’s really thoughtful.” She was so touched. He smiled at her as he started the car.

He drove with his left hand on the wheel, and leaned on the console towards her, holding her hand and occasionally lifting it to his lips to give it a soft kiss. Somehow it felt so natural, like they had been dating for months or years. She had to keep reminding herself that she had only met him this afternoon. 

He took her to a small, intimate bistro with brick walls, candlelight and small tables. They were seated in the back of the restaurant where hardly anyone else was. 

He ordered wine for them, selecting a nice bottle of pinot noir. “You’ll love it,” he assured her. And she did. It had complex, intriguing flavors of lusty dark fruit, earth, herbs and iron. It was sensual to sip on while staring at Kylo's captivating face and movie star hair.

His knee kept brushing against hers under the table, as his frame was so large for any normal sized chair. He would apologize, trying to readjust, but Rey loved feeling the touch of him to her, even if they had on clothing. She put her hand on his thigh the next time it happened, keeping him from pulling away as she looked into his eyes and she scooted her chair closer to him. Their legs were completely touching, and they held hands under the table and Rey felt almost a magnetic pull to stay just like this. Kylo smiled at her and she felt like she’d melt looking at the smile lines that formed on his perfectly imperfect face. 

“What made you want to become a professor?” she asked him over their meals. 

“I decided to go to graduate school after working for years and finding it ultimately… unfulfilling,” he said, shifting in his seat. 

“What were you doing before grad school?”

He pursed his lips and studied her face. “I worked for an intelligence agency.” His lips twitched slightly. “As an analyst.” He swirled the wine in his glass.

Intelligence agency? The only one she knew of was the FOIA, and they were very clandestine and… fearsome. They were the intelligence division of the First Order military and government. She took a sip of wine to try and mask her shock and process this information.

“Oh…and how long did you do that for?”

“Seven years.” He watched her doing some mental math and a slight smiled crossed his lips. “I’m 29, Rey,” he said, squeezing her hand under the table.

She sipped more wine, trying not to look shocked. “Oh, okay. That’s… great.” She swallowed hard. “So I’m twen-” He cut her off.

“You’re 20, right?”

“Yup.” She nodded.

He nodded back approvingly. “You seem older,” he leaned in and said just above a whisper. 

She blushed. It was true in many ways she didn’t feel like she was only 20 years old since she’d been taking care of herself alone all her life, really. But in other ways, like relationships, she felt her age or even younger due to lack of experience.

“Tell me about your art,” he said authoritatively.

“Oh...well, I got into it because of engineering really. I’ve always been good at fixing things and so that seemed like a natural fit. And then I found there could be a beauty in finding parts and scraps and making them into something else, something aesthetic.”

“So you’re a scavenger,” he murmured, amused. “A beautiful scavenger.” 

“I prefer the terms 'industrious' and 'resourceful', thank you,” she retorted. 

“Will you show me your art?” he asked sincerely, looking intently into her eyes.

“Yeah sure,” she said. “Sometime. Just let me know when is good for you.”

“How about now?” he asked.

\---

They had closed down the bistro talking about travel, art and school. 

It was almost 11 when they got to the art building at the back of campus and Rey used her id card to scan them in. Even though it was late, there were usually at least a dozen people in the building, working in their studios, fueled by lots of caffeine. Luckily, it was a Friday night so students were out drinking and partying and it seemed no one else was there. 

The lights were all off, the only light coming from green glowing exit signs and moonlight streaming through various high windows. The building had four stories and was all cement, arranged around a central glass atrium with gallery spaces, classrooms and student group studios sprawled off of this axis in haphazard directions and different angles creating a strange labyrinth. 

He held her hand as she led the way to her studio that she shared with three other art students. Kylo watched the view of her from behind as she walked up the stairs in her red soled heels to the second floor. She was so tempting without even knowing it. He tried to contain himself from grabbing her and taking her right here, on the cement stairs. 

She led him down one narrow hallway and then another to a room with no door, just a large doorway. Inside were art pieces, work desks and lockers in four corners of the room and a large metal work table in the center with metal and wood stools around it. 

Rey walked to the left back corner, where a large canvas tarp covered a piece that was about 12 feet tall and 6 feet wide. She turned on a work lamp on her workbench illuminating the tarp and pulled the tarp off to reveal a wall of patchwork metal in various shades of silver, grey, black and rust, held together by metal rivets and smooth yet jagged welding. 

“So this is what I’ve been working on for the art show at the end of the month,” she said, nervously watching him consider it. “It’s almost finished, it just needs something...I’ll figure it out,” she said turning back to the piece.

“Words,” she heard his voice say. 

“What?” 

“It needs words I think,” he said walking to it and running his fingers over the welding.

“Um, that’s not really the point of the piece,” she said defensively.

“Sorry,” he murmured, pulling her to him. “Ignore me, I think everything needs words. Blame the day job.” 

“Maybe you’re right,” she admitted. “But I’m not great with words.” 

“That’s okay. I think it’s powerful as it is. It’s solid and -” she pulled his face down to hers and began kissing him. She couldn’t handle being around him any longer and not do this. She needed him, desperately needed this.

He responded ravenously, grabbing her tightly to him and then stripping off her jacket, seizing handfuls of her soft, thin shirt as he grasped her back again. She pulled his blazer off of his broad shoulders, running her hands over his firm pecs and arms once it was free, then reached to the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off before peppering his chest with kisses. 

“Not fair,” he whispered in her ear, sending a burning shiver of pleasure all the way down to her lace panties that were quickly becoming damp. 

She responded by lifting her own shirt up and over her head slowly, letting her hair pull up and then fall softly back down around her shoulders, staring at up at him the whole time. It was too much for him. His eyes burned behind his glasses with a fiery desire as he picked her up easily. She wrapped her legs around his middle as he carried her to the table while he swiftly undid her bra and tossed it aside. He laid her down on the table, and she shivered, her nipples instantly hardening from the sensation of being exposed and the cool metal table against her burning skin. 

Goosebumps formed on her skin as he stood over her and ghosted his lips from her neck down to her nipples, drawing them into his mouth and sucking on them with perfect pressure. She gasped in response, pulling on his hair that her hands were buried in. 

He kept going lower, kissing her taut abdomen before stopping above the waistband looking up to her for approval. She nodded eagerly as he kissed her lower stomach again and unbuttoned her pants, pulling them down as she let her high heels drop off to the floor with a clatter. He ran his hand through his hair before leaning down to kiss the lace of her panties before she lifted her hips so he could slide them off of her legs. 

He reached down and picked up one of her high heels, slipping it onto her foot as he kissed her legs. He did the same with the other shoe as she lie there in anticipation, staring at the ceiling, not believing this was happening to her, that he could possibly be real. 

“Let’s keep these on for fun,” he said. 

He kissed his way back up her legs, kissing her thighs as he rubbed her clit with his fingers in a slow circle. “Rey…” he breathed against her. "You're the most beautiful creature in the galaxy." 

She curled her fingers in his hair in response as his mouth hovered above her clit and he moved his fingers down her slit and began to kiss and lap at her swollen clit with his eager tongue. He pulled her legs up over his shoulders and angled her hips so he could look into her eyes while he licked her into submission. 

It went on and on. She could hear her moans echoing throughout the entire cement building, off of the tall and oddly angled walls and ceilings, and if anyone else was inside the building they would surely hear her. But she didn’t care and neither did Kylo. If anything, the sounds she was making and the chance that they could be caught only made it hotter and increased the intensity and energy that was flowing through both of them, into and out of each other as if on an infinity loop that had no beginning or end and could not be broken. She’d never felt anything so amazing before, and neither had he. 

He grasped her breasts with his large hands, squeezing them and there was yet another sensation pushing her closer to the precipice of her orgasm. She dug her nails into his shoulders, arching her back off of the metal table, bucking her hips and burying his face deeper into her. “Oh my god, I’m so close, I’m...I’m…” 

“Yes, come for me Rey,” he gasped against her, his vibrating words and silky tongue finally sending her over the edge as she lost control and nearly screamed out in ecstasy, her entire body feeling as if it was exploding in the best possible way…she could even feel it in her hair. 

She felt like a rag doll, as if she was boneless, and was still twitching and tingling all over. She smiled and laughed, shakily panting “oohhhh” over and over as she caught her breath and her chest and abdomen heaved up and down. There were tears in the corners of her eyes as he looked up at her from in between her legs which were still over his shoulders, her heels precariously dangling off of her feet. 

He kissed her inner thigh and she shivered, laughing again at how jumpy her body felt after the insane release she just had. He began to stand up fully, pulling her legs from his shoulders and spreading them so he could stand between her thighs, their pelvises aligned but not yet touching. She looked at him, shirtless and standing before her in the moonlight coming through the windows at the top of the studio, bathing his Adonis body in a beautiful ghostly white-blue light. He seemed to be searching her eyes for a signal of what she wanted next. She wanted all of him right now, she didn’t want to wait any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this scene in my head all week and finally had time to write it! Hope you liked it. We're getting a little bit of Kylo's backstory with more to come, and lots more smut and fluff too. This was just a warm up. ;)


	4. You're My Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey takes an unexpected trip to Kylo's house

“I want you inside me Kylo,” she moaned, biting her lip. 

He was staring at her with such desire, but also with a bit of hesitation and - fear? She sat up, wrapping her legs around his still-clothed waist and looking into his eyes. 

“Is that okay?” she said, searching for an answer in his eyes behind his glasses. 

“I just didn’t think we would have our first time together be on a table in your studio,” he said softly, kissing her forehead and hair and sighing. 

She knew what he meant. One one hand it was sort of, okay _really_ hot and she wanted to just go with it and let their passion take them where it may, like right here on a metal table. On the other hand, being in a soft bed tangled up in the sheets with him sounded pretty amazing. She looked up at him again. He was looking at her with a soft tenderness, but also a hint of sadness. Suddenly she felt really tired, and she stifled a yawn. After such a body and mind shattering climax, she felt spent.

“Poor thing, you’re exhausted.” 

He put his hand under her chin, tipping it up to his face and gave her a long slow kiss. She could taste her own sweetness on his lips and blushed. Another wave of sleepiness hit her and she laid her head on his chest as he stroked lightly up and down her bare back, tracing her spine with his fingertips. 

“Do you want to go?” he asked tentatively. 

She nodded against him, and he picked her up off the table and set her gently down on the ground. He gathered her scattered clothes, and helped her into every item. She liked this, being taken care of. She’d never really had this before, or known just how much she wanted it. Also, she was really tired and appreciated the help. She stepped into her heels and pulled on her jacket, lightly yawning again. He had replaced his shirt and blazer and she sleepily smiled at the sight of him dressed again. 

“Thank you, Rey” he said, turning off the light on her workbench, and now there was only the moonlight dimly illuminating the room.

“For what?” 

“Letting me take you on a date. Showing me your art. Allowing me to…” he smirked, letting his words drift as he put his hands in her hair and gave her another slow, soft kiss, pulling away before it could turn into another heated make out session.

“You’re very good at practicing self control,” she said. In her somewhat limited experience, most guys wouldn’t be okay with delaying their own satisfaction. But he was older, maybe that was why. She also suspected that as a writer, he might like delayed gratification built up by suspense.

“I can be…” he said, before he flinched and looked away from her, staring into the darkness. “Sometimes it’s not so easy.” His hands at her hips balled into fists and she felt him tense up.

“Mmmhmmm,” she moaned, kissing his jaw. He focused back on her, his hands and frame softening onto her as her lips found his again. 

“Shall we go?” he asked taking her hand. 

As soon as Rey got into his car and settled into the soft leather seat, she felt herself falling asleep. By the time Kylo got in, she had closed her eyes and drifted off.

He watched her like that, asleep in his car, for a few minutes. He looked at the way her soft hair fell around her face, how her eyes looked when they were closed, and how her raspberry pink lips were softly parted as she gently breathed. So peaceful. He was utterly captivated by her. She was beautiful, but there was something else about her, about their unique chemistry together. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time was stirring in him. And that frightened him and delighted him at the same time.

\---

In her dream she was in a forest with Kylo. They were in the clearing on Takodana, the same one from her book. She was wearing a white flowy dress and he was of course in black. He was circling her, looking her up and down and she was very still, unable to move if she wanted to. She was afraid of how much she wanted him, of how little she knew of him, and afraid of the noticeable humming energy between them as he came close to her and put his hand to her face. “You’ll never be lonely again, Rey,” he whispered in her ear. She watched herself faint at these words, and he safely caught her in his arms as if she was his bride and he carried her off.

\---

Kylo turned up his winding driveway at his house high up in the hills above the university campus. The driveway lights and the exterior and interior lights in his sleek, three-story modern home all automatically lit up as he drove up, and he stopped the car at his front door. 

“Rey,” he said softly, brushing hair from her face tenderly. 

“Mmmm,” she moaned, not waking up. 

He went to the passenger door and opened it, carefully removed her seatbelt and picked her up, holding her to him. She stayed asleep in his arms as he carried her bridal style into his house, shutting the front door closed behind him with one foot. 

\---

When she woke up, she was startled. She was laying on a black leather chaise, in a modern house with floor to ceiling glass windows to the left of her, the glittering lights of the city spread out before her. She didn’t recognize anything and felt disoriented. Was this still her dream? Then she spotted him, sitting a few feet from her on the stone edge of a glass fireplace that ran the length of the wall with a gas fire burning, the small flames dancing behind him. He was watching her silently, and she couldn’t read his expression. 

“Where am I??” she said confused and a little alarmed.

“You’re my guest,” Kylo said, studying her carefully. He didn’t move.

She blinked at him. Her fear from her dream still felt so real, she needed a minute to relax and calm down. 

“You fell asleep as soon as we got in the car, and I brought you to my house. I hope that’s okay,” he said. “I didn’t want you to wake up in a strange bed, so I put you here for a little while.” 

She felt herself relax a bit. That was thoughtful of him, although now at the mention of Kylo’s bed, she found her thoughts drifting to what they could do there. _Why did he turn her into such a horny mess?_ This was not normally like her. 

“You must be thirsty.” She sat up a bit on her elbows as he stood and walked to her and held out a tall glass of water.

She took the glass and looked up at him as she drank the entire glass, she was parched. She licked her warm lips which were wet from the water. “Thank you,” she said, handing the glass back to him. 

“You should have this,” he said, offering her an apple she hadn’t seem him holding. 

She took it from him and he retreated back to the fireplace. They were silent and staring at each other as she gingerly toyed with the apple’s stem, twisting it between two fingers. The lighting in the room was casting a glow right down on her, while he was at the edge of the light, making it hard to see him. She could really only see her reflection in his glasses and instantly wished she could see him, see his eyes.

As if he could hear her, he reached up and removed his glasses, folding them and placing them next to him and his half empty glass of scotch on the ledge. He slightly smirked at her, looking so damn handsome with or without the glasses.

Her breath caught in her chest and she felt herself tremble. _How did he always seem to know what she was thinking?_ She wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing yet. 

He still couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She bit her lip. She was going to be bold and do something she normally wouldn’t. She slowly set the red apple down on the edge of the chaise. She rose deliberately, standing but not moving towards him. His eyes widened and she saw him swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing on his perfect throat. He leaned forward, elbows on his spread knees, taking her in.

She started slowly peeling off every layer of clothing in a methodical strip tease until she was in nothing but her white lace bra and panties. She sat back down on the chaise and laid out on her stomach, away from him. She bent her legs up, locking one ankle over the other and slowly kicking her legs back and forth. She grabbed the apple to her left, holding it in her left palm as she looked back over her shoulder at him. 

He took off his blazer, not breaking eye contact, and stood. Her eyes rose to meet his as he took two long strides towards her and was now hovering above her, hardening at the sight of her. 

“Now take a bite of that apple,” he commanded slowly, his voice dripping with sexy authority. 

She felt a thrill run through her at being told what to do by him. She held the apple up to her raspberry lips, looking at him with wide doe eyes, and closed them as she took a bite of the apple, opening them only when she was done slowly chewing, eyes locked on his as she swallowed it hard. 

“Good girl,” he murmured approvingly. In one motion he knelt down next to her, running his right hand down her back and over her lace clad bottom, giving it a light smack. He smiled as she gasped in approval.

“You like that, don’t you?” he whispered in her left ear. She nodded quickly. He patted her bottom again, with slightly more force, eliciting an “oooh” of pleasure from her. 

“Tell me you like it.” 

She looked directly at his face, which was even with hers. “I love it, _professor_ ,” she purred.

At that, the fire in him was completely ignited. He grabbed her face in his large hands, kissing her with a ferocity she was only too happy to match. She tasted like the sweet apple, and it mixed with the vanilla and caramel-y taste of the scotch he’d had, creating an intoxicating elixir between their tongues and lips.

She looped her hands around his neck, trying to pull him down to her. He responded by pulling her up to him as he stood. He moved his mouth to her neck, sucking just hard enough to mark her as she pulled on his hair and threw her head back. He unlatched her bra and discarded it on the chaise, then kissed down her stomach as he pulled her panties down with both hands and she stepped out of them. 

She looked down to the leather chaise, wondering if they would both fit before darting her eyes to a larger, low-backed black leather couch. He shook his head. “No Rey.” 

He scooped her up, his mouth on hers and she wrapped her legs around him in what was becoming their standard move. She marveled at how he could just hold her and carry her as if she was as light as a feather. She loved feeling small and feminine in his strong, masculine embrace. Her body ground against his hard, ample erection.

"See what you do do me?" he breathed against her neck, biting her earlobe. She responded by tugging at his shirt and he pulled away so she could pull it off of him as he walked towards the stairs. 

He had her against the stairwell wall, slowly moving them both one step up at time as they were all over each other. They reached the landing between the floors, and he had her pinned up in the corner. It felt so animalistic. They were all mouths on each other, passionately kissing and biting and sucking. She began to climb up his torso at the same time he was pushing her up, until her legs were over his shoulders, his face buried in her warm sex, her hands in his hair twisting and pulling and urging his fervent tongue on. 

Rey arched her back and bucked her hips as she cried out. She didn’t want to come yet. She wanted him, on her and in her. 

“Wait, wait,” she gasped. He lowered her back to his waist where she could feel his hard erection pulsing through his jeans. She looked in his eyes, imploring him, knowing he could read her thoughts and see what she wanted.

“I know,” he said, carrying her upstairs into his dimly lit bedroom, and laying her out gently on the grey luxury sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actual sex to come in the next chapter I promise! Thanks so much for reading, your kudos and comments make my little writer heart soar!


	5. I Want You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, I was traveling and then working and struggling with writer's block honestly!

The two walls of floor to ceiling windows in his bedroom all looked out on the glittering lights of Coruscant, and just enough moonlight was coming in the windows to illuminate the room slightly. He was standing above her, taking in the sight of her naked body on his bed, her hair loose around her face. 

She reached towards him and slowly undid his belt, and he began toeing off his boots and socks as she unbuttoned and carefully unzipped his pants, his swollen erection showing prominently in his black boxer briefs. She looked up at him as he pulled down his pants, leaving his underwear on as she pulled him down on top of her, kissing him and drawing his tongue into her eager mouth. This was the most naked he had been with her yet, just a piece of black cotton separating his member from her hot sex. He pulled himself up so he was hovering just above her body. 

She reached up and brushed his hair away from his face, her eyes madly searching his. “I want you…” she murmured. 

He pressed down onto her and she ground her hips against him, making him gasp her name into her mouth which was open against his. He started kissing her neck, making her dig her nails into his shoulders and buck her hips as he slid a hand down to her eager center, which was slick with wetness. He teased her entrance with one of his long fingers, kissing her hard as she moaned his name and he slid a finger into her warmth. 

She almost lost it at the feeling of him finally inside her, and eagerly accepted another of his fingers, loving the sensation of being filled by them but wanting more. She was crying out in pleasure, and he was as hard as ever, she could feel him on her thigh, probably leaving a bruise his erection was pressed into her so hard. 

She began reaching for his boxer briefs to shove them down, when he slowed and stopped her hand. 

“You’re on the..”

“Pill? I have an implant.”

“Do you want me to use…”

Normally she was so cautious and would insist on protection. She loved that he was asking, it made her feel even safer. But never in her life had she wanted to experience someone so fully.

“I get tested regularly, I’m fine.”

He nodded and kissed gently at her neck. “Me too,” he whispered. 

He pulled away from her and stood. She sat up and kissed down his chest and hard abs to the band of his briefs, pausing to look up at him with wide eyes. She pulled them down, exposing him as he stepped out of his underwear. Rey wasn’t a virgin, there had been several boys she’d been with since she’d gotten to college. But Kylo was certainly not a boy even though he could look boyish in a hoodie on campus. 

Her breath stuttered as she wrapped her hand around his thickness, pumping her fist a few times before licking his long, thick shaft up and down slowly but eagerly while looking up at him. 

“Oh god Rey,” he said, his hands in her hair. 

She took him in her mouth, wanting to return the favor for all the oral attention he’d paid her so far. 

He gasped out at the feel of himself in her mouth, her tongue running along his sensitive ridge. She felt amazing. She moaned against him and he thought he’d lose it, so he gently pulled back while pushing her back onto the bed. 

He was poised over her and lowered himself gently, taking one taut nipple at a time into his mouth.

“Kylo,” she moaned desperately.

He grasped her hips and guided himself into position at her entrance, teasing her slit with his hard cock. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him down into her as she cried out in pleasure when he entered her, her walls expanding to take him in. 

“You feel so good,” he whispered against her. 

She kissed him eagerly, not wanting him to come up for air or pull away from her at all. Her soft moans into his mouth egged him on, and he started rhythmically pumping into her, her hands moving between his hair and grasping his strong shoulders. 

Every cell in her body felt completely electrified, she’d known pleasure before but nothing like this. She arched her back into him, tilting her head back, gasping for air, her hands falling away from him. He pinned her hands above her, holding them to the bed and she tilted her head up to him, looking at him with a wicked smile and hungry look in her eyes as he began fucking her harder, her strong legs still wrapped around him, pushing him further into her. 

“Yessss,” she moaned. “Harder.” 

She felt like his pleasure was her pleasure, that she couldn’t feel where she stopped and he began. His mouth was on hers again, his strong hands still holding her arms above her head until she pulled at them and he released her without hesitation and without breaking his rhythm as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he moved an arm under her back, pulling her up to him in a sitting position, her legs still around him. 

She cried out at how deep he was in her and the angle of this new position hitting her spot with perfect pressure. She began to move up and down on top of him, his hands on her sides and hips, guiding each other’s movements. 

He moved his mouth to her bobbing breasts and thrust deeper into her, making her arch her back and drive up and down on him faster. Her hands were in his hair, pulling his face back to hers, both of them staring into each other’s eyes as their rhythm intensified but slowed. 

Rey was feeling so much pleasure and emotion washing over her she felt tears forming in her eyes, but she didn’t take her gaze off of his eyes that were looking at her with such awe and admiration. In that moment she knew she didn’t know where they were headed, but also she knew she would never regret this moment, what was happening right now. She felt overwhelmed and grasped him harder, closing her eyes. 

“I’m going to -” 

“Yes, come with me Rey,“ he pleaded. 

She opened her eyes and looked into his as they both went over the edge together, her waves of pleasure rolling over her at the feeling of him spilling into her, her walls gripping him even tighter as their mouths absorbed their cries. 

They finally slowed, both of them trembling and panting, slightly sweaty and tired with divine exhaustion, holding each other tightly in an embrace neither wanted to ever pull away from. 

“That was...amazing,” she said. 

“You’re incredible,” he said, kissing her forehead tenderly.

After a few minutes, Rey reluctantly pulled herself from him, needing to freshen up.

"The bathroom is through there,” he motioned to the far wall of his room as he stroked her back softly. “Take your time, there’s towels and a robe and whatever you might need.” 

She went into the bathroom, flicking on the lights and shutting the door behind her. She went to the sink and turned it on, putting her hands on either side of the modern pedestal bowl. She looked up into the illuminated mirror, studying her flushed face. Her lips were bright raspberry and swollen with blood from all of the kissing and her arousal. Her hair was wavy and slightly damp from sweat. She stared hard at her own reflection as the water ran, knowing that something had changed. She wasn’t the same 20 year old she was the day before. She didn’t think she could ever go back to just being a normal co-ed. She knew her life had been altered now having met him; that she was on a course she couldn’t turn away from.


	6. You're The Best Thing That's Ever Happened To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one! Lots of background and some smut thrown in for good measure because these two can't stay off each other ;)

She wakes up on her stomach, smooth grey luxury sheets underneath her and on top of her naked body in the most comfortable bed she’s ever slept in. Her hair is sprawled around her and she moves it away from her face. The room is dark with blackout shades covering the walls of glass but she can make out his bare, sleeping form next to her. She looks at his muscular back and curls up against him, her hardening nipples pressing into his freckled flesh. She wraps her arm around him, the little spoon spooning the much bigger spoon, and ghosts her mouth across his shoulder blades with the softest of kisses. He wakes up as she nuzzles into him, pressing her body completely against his.

He looks at the clock on his nightstand and laughs. “We slept in, it’s almost noon.” 

She kisses his back between his shoulder blades. “Well, we did stay up most of the night wearing ourselves out,” she murmured.

He reaches and hits a button and the blackout shades raise, bathing the room in bright light. He rolls over to face her, kissing her forehead and putting his hand at the curve of her waist as she slips a knee in between his legs. The sight of her tangled in his sheets is unreal. “Good morning, beautiful,” he whispers.

\---

“So in a month you’ll be a full time professor?” she asked, taking a sip of her apple, kale, spinach, ginger, and lemon smoothie he had made for her in a fancy high-tech blender. She was sitting at his kitchen counter wearing one of his white dress shirts over her panties. He had mentioned at dinner the night before that he was done with grad school at the end of spring term, which was only four weeks away.

“A doctor, technically,” he said casually, pouring himself a glass.

She almost choked on her smoothie. “You never told me you were getting your doctorate, that’s - in just over two years??”

“It’s been a lot of extra work,” he admitted. “But after my previous job, it’s actually less strenuous on me and I found it came pretty easily, so I was fast-tracked through the program.”

 _Wow. He’s kind of brilliant,_ she thought. _A genius_. But she already knew that. And now she knew what he’d meant when they met and he mentioned he didn’t have much time for other pursuits. 

She watched him, waiting to see if he’d volunteer more information. She knew she wanted to know more about his life, his family, his former job, his past love life, but she didn’t know how to ask. _Or I just like this version of him that exists with me now, and I don’t care about anything else._

“How did you get into the intelli-” he interrupted her, not rudely, but sincerely. 

“Do you ever feel like you wish you could forget parts of your previous life?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said nodding and feeling a little sad. 

“I know you do,” he said looking at her. “I do, too. We share that.” 

He stared at her, and she couldn’t take her eyes off of his face. That sensation of energy between them was almost buzzing. She felt like if she reached across the counter to touch him, there would be a shock of static electricity. 

“Do you want to go for a drive?” he asked after a moment. “Get out of the city?”

She nodded, smiling. “I should probably go home first and change.” 

“But I like you in just my shirt,” he protested with a sexy smirk, walking around the counter and swiveling her to him, wrapping his hands around her waist as he stood in between her bare legs. She gave his chest a playful shove and he caught her wrist, kissing the inside of it. The feel of his plump lips fluttering against her sensitive skin made her shiver with pleasure and a little moan escaped her mouth. 

“If we start up now, we’ll never leave,” she said breathily as he hovered above her face. 

“That’s okay too,” he offered, running his hands down her body and skimming across her thighs.

She laughed a little, and the sound of her sweet, innocent laugh made his heart skip a beat. He was completely enamored of this beautiful creature. He remembered what he’d told her back in her bedroom - _I want to know you_. And he meant it. Not just physically, she was amazing at that and unlike anything else he’d ever experienced, but know her mind and her heart and her soul, which he’d never felt himself wanting before from anyone. He pulled back, creating some space between them.

“Drive?”

“Yes, please.”

“I’ll take you home and pick you up in, what, an hour?”

“Perfect,” she smiled at him, her brown eyes sparkling and he felt like she was the sun, warming him completely. 

\---

Finn heard a car pull up and looked out the curtains. He’d been studying by his window all day waiting for her to come home. He watched as a tall, handsome guy got out of the most expensive car he’d ever seen on campus and walked around to the passenger side, opening the door. He saw Rey step out in super high black heels, looking like a model in her date clothes. She was clutching her purse and a black box with an untied red ribbon. Finn stared down at them as he saw the tall guy kiss her for a minute, her eyes closed, and watched her blush as he pulled away from her, waving as he got in his car and Rey walked into the building. He heard her coming up the stairs and practically flew to his front door, throwing it open just as she was reaching hers. 

“Where have you been?” he said, concerned. “Did he hurt you?” 

She stopped unlocking her door and turned around, rolling her eyes at him. “You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”

He stood waiting while she finished unlocking the door and breezed past her when she opened it, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the apartment, marching her to the couch. Finn was so protective of her, so like a brother even though they were the same age. 

“Sit. Tell me everything.”

They plopped down on the couch and she dropped her clutch, keys and gift from Kylo on the coffee table. Finn stared at the box, then looked at Rey with raised eyebrows. 

“Finn...I don't even know where to start…”

“Well, what’s his name.”

“Kylo.”

“Kylo… Wait, Kylo Ren? Like the crazy hot professor all the girls go nuts for?”

“Yeah, that’s him.” _So apparently everyone knew that he was a hot commodity. How typical for her to be clueless about these things._

“Okay so - wow. He’s super into you then?" 

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know Finn, I guess? I’m not exactly used to this kind of attention.”

Finn scoffed. “Rey, you might not notice the attention, or you tune it out, but you attract it.”

“Okay, well now I’m getting it from him. And I like him.” She sighed and leaned back on the couch, looking at the ceiling. “I like him so much it scares me.”

“What’s he like?”

“He’s brilliant. He’s mysterious...but not - it’s like I know him. He makes every cell in my body vibrate - 

“Aww yeah Rey!” he said excitedly, probably wanting details. 

“No, not like that,” she said smiling and giving him a playful shove. “Well okay, yes like that,” she laughed and blushed. “But it’s so much more Finn. I can’t even explain it.”

“Is he nice to you?” 

“He’s too nice, actually. I don’t deserve it,” she sighed looking at Finn who was looking at her very seriously.

“Yes you do, Rey. You deserve to be happy and it’s time you realize that. I just want to make sure Mr. Hot Professor isn’t trying to play you.”

She got a little worried at his comment and her forehead knit together. “Have you ever heard of him paying attention to any girls as more than just a student?” she asked, concerned. Finn was a social butterfly and knew all the gossip around campus. Normally, she wouldn’t care but this could be useful to her interests. 

“Nah,” he said shaking his head. “Nah - they’re all bummed he won’t give him the time of day when they throw themselves at him. So you’re special, Peanut!” He gave her shoulder a love tap.

She couldn’t help but smile. This information made her happy and reaffirmed what he had told her and what she had witnessed when they’d first met in the cafe at the student union.

“So want to go out to some of the campus bars tonight with me? Poe and I are meeting up.” 

Poe was Finn’s flight instructor who he was not so secretly in love with. Rey liked Poe - he was a charming daredevil type who was even older than Kylo, so she knew Finn couldn’t judge her for dating someone older than her. 

“Well, I think I have plans,” she said sheepishly. 

“Rey has it bad! Rey’s hot for teacher” he teased her and she laughed. 

“He’s not my teacher,” she said.

“Oh darling,” he said looking at her dead seriously, assessing her tousled hair and flushed skin tone. “The way you’re looking after last night, he’s teaching you something alright.”

Rey and Finn cracked up, both laughing so hard until she was doubled over and almost crying. It took a few minutes for them to regain composure. 

“Okay, okay, enough! I have to get ready. We’re going for a drive.” 

“I didn’t get to hear any naughty details though!” he whined.

“Go!” she laughed, standing up and walking him to the door. He stopped in the doorway and turned around. 

“Hey, he has a really nice car. Is it a big stick shift?” he said, cracking up again. 

“Bye, Finn.”

“Bye, Peanut. Buckle up for safety,” laughing at his own joke.

\---

Less than an hour later she’s showered and changed into a grey t-shirt dress and black flats and they’re driving in Kylo’s car, getting far outside of the city. He’s very relaxed at driving and being away from the city with just her.

“Ask me anything,” he says as soon as they’re past civilization, meaning it.

She looks at him in silent amazement. “Really?”

“Yes.” 

“Okay…” she wants to start off easy and work up to the big scary questions he doesn’t like to discuss. _Like what he’s been doing for the last seven years._ “What was your undergraduate major in?”

“I double majored in political science and history.” 

_Of course he double majored._

“Next question?” he said, smiling.

“Where were you before college?”

“I was at a military academy.” He paused. “My _parents_ ,” he kind of looks away when he says parents, “sent me away when I was young. I was training to be a Jedi actually. My...uncle...he ran the academy.” His hands gripped the wheel a little tighter for a few seconds and then he relaxed. 

“Your uncle? Wow.” She sat staring at him. Jedi were the special elite wing of armed forces, operating independently before the First Order government came to power. There were rumors they were just a myth. Clearly not though. 

“My turn.” He smiled at her, then looked back at the road. “I get to ask you a few now.”

She squirmed in her seat. But she knew it was only fair she talk about herself too. 

“Are you an only child like me?”

She paused. He had volunteered something about himself to make her feel more comfortable. “I think so,” she replied. 

He looked at her, searching her face. 

“I don’t know who my parents or family are,” she said quietly. Plainly. Simply stating a fact. “I was found? I guess, on Jakku when I was young. Five? Something like that. And was in the foster care system until I was able to legally emancipate myself at 15.”

He felt a little sad at her revelation, but she was calm, not emotional about it. Like she accepted it as the fact of her life and dealt with it. 

“You were alone for the last five years?”

“Well technically most of my life. My...guardian,” she slightly shuddered at the word, “really left me to fend for myself. I had to actually earn my food from him.”

“ _Earn_?” he said, his tone angry, his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel.

“No, not like that,” she quickly clarified. “I had to…” she sighed. _How did she tell this beautiful, privileged man that she really was a scavenger like he suggested when they first met. Would he reject her?_

He looked at her, and reached over to hold her hand which was in her lap, her left leg tucked under her. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. 

“I had to find scrap metal and parts and bring them to him. He ran a...junkyard. And in return I got food and my own shelter, away from him. He was a cretin, but he actually made sure that none of the thugs on Jakku, most of whom were his shady associates, messed with me. So I guess there was that.”

She was silent and he waited to see if she would say anything else. “Rey…” he said.

“And that’s my story. Until I got into school here, and met some good friends like my neighbor Finn,” she sees his eye twitch at the mention of Finn and feels his hand flinch on hers. “He’s like a brother to me,” she assured him. “A gay brother!” she laughed. 

He smiled and she bit her lip at his cute smile lines and the way his freckles and beauty marks moved when he smiled. 

“And now I met you,” she said quietly. She knew what she wanted to ask him next even though it scared her to do so.

“Your turn again.” 

“You said you don’t do relationships, at all.” She held her breath.

He smirked. “That sounds like a statement, not a question.” 

“So...like you don’t want a relationship at all, or you just haven’t had them or you…” she trailed off.

He sighed and pulled the car off the road, stopping near the edge of some foothill mountains in a cloud of dust. 

Her heart was beating wildly in her chest as he parked the car, and turned it off, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning in his seat so he could face her.

She was breathing kind of fast, nervously and he felt her palm getting sweaty in his hand as she pulled it away from his, fidgeting with the hem of her dress.

“I wasn’t allowed to have them honestly.”

 _Allowed? By who?_

“First it was my uncle and the academy. Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments. Then I was in college and I don’t know, I just kind of did my own thing and focused on school and didn’t meet anyone worth dating seriously.”

“And for the last seven years?”

“I got recruited out of college for the agency.” he signed. “The FOIA took up all my time and I was on missions and...no relationships. Then I’ve been in grad school and just focused on that.”

“But you’ve...been with girls, obviously.” She blushed. _The man didn’t get that skilled at the things he had done to her without some experience._

He smiled. “Well yeah, but it’s not been more than that.”

“Oh.”

“And you?”

“Nope, I haven’t been with any girls.” She laughed and he smiled devilishly at her. She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, no real relationships for me either - but I’m not 29,” she teased.

“So you think I’m a freak?” He was looking at her intensely now. She stopped laughing.

“No!” she said. “No, I’m sorry that’s not what I think at all,” she said soothingly, rubbing his arm and bringing his hand to her knee, which he squeezed as she put her hand over his.

“We’re not so different, Rey,” he said.

“In that way, no, we’re not so different,” she agreed.

“You’ve been lonely?” he asked.

She leaned the side of her head against the headrest, looking through his glasses at his brown eyes. She felt her eyes prick with the sting of getting watery. She nodded. _Nodding was easier than saying the words out loud that she didn’t like admitting to herself, the words that she took offense to when he first met her and read her. He’d called her “profoundly lonely”. Because she had been. But he was, too. She had felt that instinctively._

She reached up to the side of his face, cupping his large cheek in her smaller hand.

“You are too.”

He nodded and turned his face to kiss her hand, then pulled her to him. “I was,” he whispered as he bent his face down to kiss her softly.

He smiled. “You want to drive?”

She lit up. She loved cars, fast cars even more, and hardly ever got the chance to drive. She didn’t have her own car, but she was a good driver. “Really?” 

“Yep.” _Anything that made her that happy and her eyes shine like that he’d be stupid not to let her do._

They both got out of the car to switch places. The sun was going to set soon casting a warm golden color over everything. As they passed in front of the car, he grabbed her and wrapped her up in his arms, just holding her with her head pressed to his strong chest, her arms wound around him tightly. They stand like that for what seems like forever until the sun sets and the sky has turned to a pink and purple dusk and a few stars have started to emerge. They both needed this. Neither had ever been held that long by anyone, including their parents. 

The night is setting in and he rests his chin on her head. “We should head back,” he says. 

“Okay,” she sighs.

“You drive,” he smiles as she looks up at him as they reluctantly part and both of them feel like a piece of themselves go with the other person.

She’s behind the wheel of his car and wants to go really fast on this straight desolate road that no other cars are on, but she doesn't want to do so unless he tells her to.

“You can go fast if you want,” he offers.

She speeds up to 90, 100, 110, 120 and it feels like nothing for his car. But it makes her heart soar and feel light. She’s exhilarated and thrilled. Aroused almost. And suddenly he’s leaning into her ear and whispering, telling her put the cruise control on and keep her eyes on the road and her hands on the wheel for him. She nods, obeying him and a rush of heat flushes through her and she feels her panties moisten and clenches her thighs together as he’s put his hand on her thigh and is running his hand up and down it, up and under her dress and now he’s against her black cotton panties rubbing her clit in a circle through the fabric as she lets out a breathy moan. 

“Ohmygod,” she moans and he’s licking and nibbling on her right earlobe making her quiver as he keeps rubbing her clit over her panties and all she wants to feel are his bare fingers on her. She’s staring straight ahead down the dark, empty road, the only illumination from the moonlight, the red interior glow and the xenon headlights of the car. As if he read her mind, he’s pulling her panties to the side and touching her swollen clit with his fingers. She thrust her hips forward in her seat, grinding his fingers harder into her clit, the seat belt holding her back. His other hand ran over her breasts as his mouth worked its way down her neck and she tilted her head to the side to give him better access, Kylo brushed her hair away, pulling it over her left shoulder. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he moans. “Rey…” he’s breathing into her skin and now she wants his fingers inside her, stretching her. He runs a finger down her wet slit and teases her entrance to hear her gasp and watch her squirm again. 

“Kylo,” she moans as he pushes a finger into her and she clenches around him squeezing his finger tightly with her pussy. He pushes another finger into her and _god she’s tight around him_. He’s pulling his fingers in and never completely out of her, she won’t let him, and he’s taking her hard nipple in his mouth through the fabric of her dress and bra. She’s breathing hard, arching her back, and sighing. She’s so close and he keeps his two fingers in her as his thumb moves back to her neglected, aching clit and he’s rubbing her and she’s panting now, forcing her eyes to stay open and focused on the road as she trembles and her body clenches and he plunges his fingers into her hard as he bites her nipple.

“Ohmygod Kylo,” she’s crying out and he grabs the steering wheel with his free hand as she comes so she can close her eyes and feel her orgasm fully. She slams her head back in the seat, her walls still involuntarily clenching his fingers for a minute, and when that finally stops he pulls them out and she puts her hands back on the steering wheel as he puts his fingers in his mouth and sucks her wetness off of him. She reaches a hand over to his pants and he’s hard as a rock, moaning at her touch as she massages him through his jeans. 

“Pull over Rey,” he begs, and she flips off cruise control and slows the car down to 90, 80, 70, 60, 50 until they are stopped on the side of the road, the car still running as she puts it in park and turns off the headlights, undoes her seat belt and climbs over into his lap and straddles him as he pulls her dress up and over her head. 

They’re bathed in red light from the interior panel lights in the car and it’s pitch black outside. He reaches around her back while kissing her collarbone and quickly dispenses of her bra. She’s only in her black panties now which are slightly soaked from her wetness which is only increasing as she grinds against his hard, hard cock. 

She pulls his shirt off tossing it atop her bra and dress in the empty driver’s seat, and reaches down to undo his belt and zipper, and she adjusts so he can lift his hips slightly and she pulls his pants and underwear down around his knees and they drop to his ankles. She reaches between her legs and is stroking him up and down, the tip of his penis brushing against her wet warmth as he leans back in the seat moaning. 

“Oh fuck Rey,” he hisses as she pulls her panties to the side and she sinks down onto him slowly, feeling so tight he thinks he might explode. She’s shaking with pleasure and starting to ride him, and it’s so intense, so primal, she’s digging her nails into his shoulders and down his pecs, marking him as he sucks on her hard nipples making her gasp. He’s moving her hips up and down, grabbing her ass and she’s feeling it build in her again, throwing her head back and arching her body as she rides him and leans back bracing her hands on his knees, letting him see all of her. He leans forward, pushing her backward until her back is pressed into the dashboard and he’s thrusting deep into her, his hands gripping her hips tightly. He quickens his pace as she cries out, and the feeling of him being so deep in her hot, wet cunt is going to send them both over the edge. And it does, and her head is pushed further up until it’s against the windshield as he spills into her and she is shaking on him, her body heaving as she feels herself slowly coming back together. He pulls her forward to him, kissing up her body until he meets her eyes. He brushes the hair out of her face and kisses her for what seems like forever and when he pulls away there are tears in her eyes but she smiles at him and lays her head on his shoulder as he gently strokes her back. 

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he says softly as a tear drops down her cheek and he brushes it away.

“You are too,” she whispers as she smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!! I get serious motivation from all your comments and kudos so thanks so much for letting me know what you think!


	7. You Know My Name, Not My Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names are not always what they seem. - Mark Twain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a smut-free plot chapter guys! Hope you like it still :)

He was watching her as she slept in his bed. She’s face down and naked, her hair sprawled around her face, the sheet draped across her bare back, exhausted from hours of their lovemaking which included in his kitchen after he cooked her dinner, on the floor of his bedroom, and against the windows in his bedroom before they finally ended up in his bed.

 _He wants every part of her_ , he thinks. _He wasn’t looking for her, in fact his life would be easier without her, but he’d found her and now he doesn’t want to imagine being without her. Which presents a problem. He’s nearing an age where he could settle down. She’s just starting her adult life, she has her entire twenties ahead of her. Where was this headed?_

She stirred slightly and he froze, only relaxing when she sighed out his name, smiling, her eyes still closed and her fingers curling against the sheets. _She was dreaming of him_. His heart felt like it would burst.

\---

She woke up to find him not in the bed, but there was a note on his pillow.

_Rey, I went to get us coffee and breakfast, didn’t want to wake my sleeping beauty up. Be back soon. – K_

She smiled at his script-print handwriting and leaned over to hit the button to raise the blackout shades, squinting as the bright sunshine streamed in the windows bathing her in a bright glow. She made the bed, then took a shower in his huge shower, wishing he was in there with her. She was kind of horrified at the amount of dried cum she had to scrub off of her thighs. _Maybe we should start using condoms,_ she thought. _Even though I have an implant, the last thing I want is to get pregnant._

After toweling off, and since her grey dress she wore to his house had been discarded last night down in the kitchen, she wandered into his walk-in closet which was bigger than the size of her bedroom in her apartment. There was tons of black clothing, of course, and it was as organized as a high-end men’s department store. She found the white button down cotton shirt of his that she had worn the morning prior on top of the laundry pile, and pulled it on. It fit her like a big baggy dress, skimming her mid-thighs.

She wandered downstairs, wanting to explore his gigantic modern house in the daylight. On the first floor, she went down a long hallway, peeking into a home gym, a movie room, and finally at the end of the hall through an open door she saw a library and office.

She tentatively poked her head in, just wanting to have a look around. She spied his desk and computer where she assumed he spent his time writing and grading papers. She ran her hand over the smooth black surface of the desk and turned her attention to the wall of books that ran the length and height of the room.

She scanned her eyes over the hundreds of titles and colors of books - reds, greens, blues, blacks, greys. She pulled down a green and blue marbled title stamped with “Alderaan” along the binding in white, it was faded and old. She opened it and looked at the inside cover.

The name Leia Organa was written in a woman’s hand, it looked like an older style of handwriting. Below that was a note “To Ben, So you will never forget where you come from, love your Mother”. Underneath that, the name Ben Solo was written - _wait, was that Kylo’s handwriting?_ She flipped through the pages, looking at pictures of a place she had never heard of.

She replaced the book, and grabbed another, flipping it open. There it was again - _Ben Solo_. _Maybe this was a relative of his? Or he bought these books at an estate sale??_

She opened yet another book from a shelf further away. This time the name Ben Solo has been furiously crossed out, and below it is his name staring back at her. _Kylo Ren_. Written in almost the same hand, but pressed harder into the soft page. She turned the page and could see the indent from the letters pressed into the page, running her fingertips over it. She closed the book, her heart pounding.

Her eye was then caught by a black leather covered book, worn with use, that was sticking out further from the rest of the books on it’s high shelf. She stood on her tiptoes and pulled it down, running her hands over the broken-in cover. She opened it, and there were more names written inside. Anakin Skywalker. And just below it, in a menacing, darker hand: Darth Vader. She flipped some pages and realized this was a completely filled in diary. It started off in a light handwriting and became more and more erratic as the pages continued. She caught sight of a few names as she swiftly turned page after page. Padme. Obi Wan. Palpatine. She slammed the cover shut, overwhelmed with emotion. Rey felt unsettled. Like she discovered something she shouldn’t have. She quickly replaced all the books and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Kylo came in the front door to find her dressed in her grey t-shirt dress from the day before, sitting on the stairs waiting for him. “Hi bab-” He lit up when he saw her, but his face quickly dropped as he sensed the tension in her own face.

“Hi,” she replied meekly. 

“What’s wrong?” he said quickly setting down the coffees and the bag of food and grabbing her hand which she immediately pulled away from him.

She looked at him like she didn’t know who he was. 

“Can you please take me home now?”

\--- 

She had her hand on the car door handle, but she sat still, staring straight ahead. They were parked in front of her apartment but she couldn’t get out of the car.

“Rey, are you sure you are okay?”

“Yes,” she said, while shaking her head no.

“What can I -”

“Who is Ben Solo?” she exhaled quickly, finally turning her eyes to his face.

He looked at her confused, wondering why she was asking him this. But that wasn’t important right now.

“That is... _was..._ it’s me.” he replied, closing his eyes for a few seconds.

“What do you mean _was_? Kylo can you explain it to me?” she pleaded, but stayed calm. She just really needed to know. And he needed to tell her.

“Yes I can,” he sighed. “I…” he began, stopping. “One thing first?” he asked, taking her hand.

She looked at him and nodded, waiting for the rest.

“Can we go inside and not do this in the car in front of your building?”

She paused. She wasn’t sure she wanted him in her apartment right now, but she wanted him to feel comfortable talking to her about whatever bombshell he was about to unleash on her. “Sure.”

She got out of the car before he could open the door for her, exhaling hard as she breezed into her building, with him a few steps behind. She kind of stomped up the stairs, angry with herself that she’d let her guard down with him only to be tricked.

_Had all those years of taking care of herself in Jakku taught her nothing? She was not a trusting person - she couldn’t be, everyone in the world wanted something and would take it as soon as the opportunity presented itself. And now he was no different._

She felt her face flush with anger and fought the feeling of hot tears that threatened to spill out of her eyes as she unlocked her door.

Kylo touched his hand reassuringly to her back and she flinched, recoiling from him. It stung him to the core. All he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and kiss away her fears and anger and love her forever. He never wanted anything or anyone to hurt her, and now he was the source of her pain. He was tired of causing the people he loved pain.

She opened the door and went straight into her little kitchen, pouring herself a big glass of water and drinking it with shaking hands like she’d never see water again. She set the glass down with a thud, placing both hands on the counter and was slightly hunched over and breathing hard. She looked up at him through the fringe of her hair. His eyes were pleading with her, looking at her with so much sorrow and pain, and concern not for himself, but for her.

“Rey, come sit, please let me explain.”

She silently went to her couch, where the day prior she had gushed to Finn about Kylo and how it scared her how much she liked him. She felt foolish again.

“Don’t feel like that, Rey” he said soothingly as he sunk onto the couch next to her, putting a hand on her leg.

She snapped her head to him. “Feel like _what_??” she hissed, her eyes wide with panic. _How do you seem know what I am thinking sometimes?_

He was quiet, not knowing what to do and not wanting to enrage her since he was the one on the hot seat. He cleared his throat and squeezed her knee lightly. “I mean that I can tell you are upset with yourself for trusting me. And I hate myself for that.”

She only swallowed hard and stared at him, waiting to hear the truth. He knew it was now or never.

“I was born Ben Solo. My mother’s name was Leia Organa, and my father was Han Solo.”

She blinked. The names sounded vaguely familiar.

 “When I left college and joined the agency, I had to change my name as much for my own anonymity as it was to protect them. My mother is a high-ranking general and my father is kind of a,” he frowned, lines crossing his face, “a smuggler.” He looked defeated.

“So you...became…Kylo Ren,” she said carefully.

“Yes. I had to disassociate from my past life, and I couldn’t put those people at risk.”

“Was what you were doing that dangerous?” She said, concern and alarm written all over her face. “You haven’t told me what you did there besides being an analyst.” 

“I was the head of the special interrogation and intelligence division.” He said flatly.

She swallowed hard. Her mind was racing, full of thoughts and questions about the bad things he may have seen, may have done. But his eyes were still searching and pleading with hers behind his glasses, and they weren’t dark and cold but warm and sincere. Even if she wanted to turn him away she didn’t think she had the strength to do it.

His hand grabbed hers and she felt that familiar feeling of energy passing between the two of them, and she felt him projecting calming feelings toward her.

“So what about your parents?”

“I haven’t spoken to them in years,” he said, an edge to his voice that he tried to hide.

She flinched. _All she wanted her whole life was a family. And he had one ready made and had forsaken them for a job._

“So you just have that huge nice house and fancy car and clothes and it’s not your family’s money - it’s yours.”

He nodded. “I made money with the First Order, I invested wisely, I stopped working there and I don’t have to work again if I felt like it. But I did inherit some from my grandfather.”

“Were you close with him?”

His face became stony. “I never knew him. He died before I was born, and I didn’t even learn who he really was until I was almost out of college. And I didn’t find out from my parents, or my uncle, but from a public admission in an interview by a political rival of my mother’s. So that was...a shock. I was pretty upset with my family for lying to me for my whole life.”

“I can kind of get that,” she admitted.

“Thank you for understanding.” 

“Kylo, would you have ever told me this on your own?”

“Yes. Of course. I wanted to, but I didn’t want to do it so soon and frighten you with all this baggage. I’ve dealt with it, I’ve moved on from my past. From the agency.”

 _You’ve moved on from your family, too_ , she thought and watched him wince.  

“I always hoped my parents and I would reconcile someday. Maybe we still will. But they haven’t reached out to me just as much as I haven’t reached out to them, Rey. Parents shouldn’t abandon their children, no matter what they do that they disagree with.”

She nodded. No one could understand this better than her, being abandoned by your parents. She reached for his large hand, intertwining her smaller fingers with his. “I _kind of_ get you not telling me. Sort of.”

He leaned his head against the side of her couch and cupped her face with his free hand, smoothing her cheek with the pad of his thumb. She closed her eyes, wondering where they went from here. She felt him pulling her to his chest, and she could hear his steady heartbeat, holding her head in his hands as they both began breathing at the same rate until she felt her own heartbeat match his. 

“I’m sorry if I reacted badly when you got back,” she whispered against his chest. “Sorry for ruining breakfast.”

“Shhhh...it’s fine,” he whispered into her hair, kissing it as he stroked it gently. 

\---

“I have to do homework and study tonight,” she told him as afternoon gave way to late afternoon and orange light was streaming through the vintage metal paned windows above her bed. They had moved from the couch into her room and were laying on her bed, her head on his t-shirt clad chest and he was playing with her hair and tracing his fingers up and down her clothed back.

“Okay,” he said fighting the urge to feel sad. Of course she had work to do, she’d been with him all weekend.

She propped her chin up on his chest so she could look at him. She was sad too, but she’d spent all weekend with him and today had been emotionally exhausting for both of them. And she was on scholarship and had work to do. 

“I’m sorry I looked at your books, I shouldn’t have.”

He smiled. _So his books had given him away_. “It’s okay, I wasn’t hiding them.” He sighed a little. “I’m still Ben, Rey. Just a different name.”

She took a deep breath. “Can I call you Ben?”

He paused. “Why? You hate my name?” It felt like she was rejecting _him_.

“No,” she shook her head. “No. It’s just...everyone else here calls you that.” She thought of all the girls lusting after him on campus. “This would be just for me, for _us_.”

“Okay.” _Anything for you, Rey._

 She beamed at him. “Good. Then I won’t feel like I’m just a co-ed sleeping with some hot professor,” she playfully touched his chin and he frowned slightly. _Is that all she thought she was to him?_ “You’re just Ben to me. You’re a cute guy I met in a cafe on campus.”

He smiled because she was smiling. If this made her feel better about dating him, then he was all for it. Plus she liked the way her voice sounded saying his name, his real name. It had been so long since he’d heard another person say it.

He pulled her up to him and kissed her, she crawled up higher on him laying her head in the crook of his neck and shoulder, kissing him there and breathing in his scent which was like heaven to her. All of it was like heaven. 

“Rey, I want you to be my girlfriend.”

She pulled away and looked at him with wide, frightened eyes. “Oh,” she gasped. “But...it’s too soon, isn’t it?”

“Maybe, I guess for _normal_ people.” He chuckled but then looked at her seriously. “But I don’t want to see anyone else but you.” _And I don’t want you seeing anyone else_ he thought, but didn’t want to tell her that.

The thought of him seeing, kissing, touching, even _thinking about_ anyone else but her made her stomach churn and gave her physical discomfort. He sensed her distress.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be ill.” 

She nodded, pushing the feelings away and tugging at his shirt. “I don’t want to see anyone else either.” _I don’t want you seeing anyone else either_. 

“So you’ll be my girlfriend?” he asked with the most hopeful smile she’d ever seen that melted (almost) all of her misgivings and sickness away. _She’d never been anyone’s girlfriend before. She’d never wanted to. And now she would be his. Ben’s. Her Ben_.

She tilted her head up to his lips and whispered “Yes, Ben, I’ll be your girlfriend,” she said before kissing him deeply as he wrapped her tighter in his strong arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut will return next chapter - believe me! And I'll post the next chapter soon.
> 
> Thank you as always for your awesome kudos and comments - I love reading all of them they seriously help me to keep writing this!!


	8. You Want To Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get playful between these two, but not without some unforeseen consequences.

They hadn’t seen each other in almost three days. They both had classes at different times and Rey had homework and her work study job at the library for a few hours on Tuesday that he was so tempted to stop by and find her amidst the stacks, re-shelving books, and take her in a dark corner where they’d both have to be quiet. It took everything in him not to show up and act out his little fantasy that would probably end with both of them being fired.  

But now it was Wednesday afternoon and he felt like he’d go crazy if he didn’t get to lay eyes on her. The past few days he had found himself looking for her as he walked around campus, hoping to run into her. It was maddening. They’d have to work out some kind of schedule to spend time together these last 4 weeks of school. Until then, there would be the weekends spent _with her, in her, on her, her on him_ , and after this month the summer stretched out in front of them, three long months with nothing to do but be with _her_.

He dug his iPhone out of the pocket of his dark jeans, entered his passcode and pulled up his contacts to call her.

\---

He actually had to ask her for her number as he started to leave her apartment on Sunday night, smiling and laughing with her so hard until it hurt.

“You asked me to be your girlfriend before you could even get my number!” she had said with tears of laughter in the corners of her eyes.

She wrapped her arms up around his neck when he handed her his unlocked phone to put her contact info in, entering her number over his tall shoulder while he had his hands on her waist and was leaning down to kiss her neck. She was delighted to see the noticeable lack of other girls' names in his contacts. 

“Here,” she said handing it back to him. He smiled, she had entered her name as Rey Girlfriend. He called her phone and heard it vibrating in her purse on the coffee table. “And now you have my number.”

He kissed her. They were officially official.

\---

Her phone rang twice before she answered, slightly out of breath, which made him instantly get semi-hard. “Hi,” she said breathlessly in her adorable accent. “I’ve missed you.”

“What are you doing?”

“Laundry.” He could hear her smiling.

“I don’t have another class until four - can I come see you?”

“Yes!” she said, giggling at her own enthusiasm. 

“I’m on my way.”

\--- 

Her door was slightly ajar, so he walked in, not seeing her in the living room. He turned into the doorway to her bedroom and thought he’d lose it.

She was sitting on her bare mattress, the bed stripped of its sheets, with her computer in front of her, her right leg stretched out and bent at the knee, her left leg against the bed and tucked under her right thigh. Her wavy hair was down loose around her shoulders and she was wearing a three-quarter length sleeve _short_ grey sweater dress and nothing else but grey thigh high knit socks. And she was holding a cup of tea on a saucer with her left hand as she used her right to scroll on her computer. She hadn’t noticed him there. 

“This is what you wear on laundry day?? My god.” His sexy deep baritone voice jolted her and she flashed her eyes up to her bedroom doorway, a huge smile crossing her face when she saw him there.

_Jesus, she was like the sun to him._

She scooted carefully to the edge of the bed with her long legs, setting her tea down on her dresser and bounded into his arms.

“Ben,” she smiled and inhaled his scent as she wound her right hand in his thick hair, throwing her head back as he kissed her neck up to her jaw, his plump eager lips finally finding her mouth which eagerly opened for him as he embraced her tighter.

He could feel she had no bra on, her nipples stiffening against his chest. His hands were grabbing fistfuls of her short sweater dress which lifted up as his hands drifted down to her ass, only to discover she had no panties on either. He looked down at her, with an eyebrow raised. _He was so fucking turned on_.

“Laundry day,” she giggled, her laugh turning to a squeal as he picked her up, wrapping her legs around him as they were joined at the mouth. He pushed her open MacBook aside on the bed and laid her down on her back, laying on top of her as she wrapped her legs around his hips, gasping his name into his ear as he sucked on her neck and ran his hand up her dress to grab her bare breast, squeezing it and rubbing at her sensitive nipple. She was reaching for his belt buckle with one hand and pushing off his grey hoodie with her other hand, flinging it aside and exposing his white cotton t-shirt underneath.

She undid his belt and was unzipping his pants and shoving her hand down into his boxer briefs to free his hard erection when she heard her front door swing open and Finn call out. “Hey Rey? Do you have any quarters I can borrow? That one stupid dryer just ate the last of my change.” And suddenly he was in the doorway to her room, his eyes bulging at the sight of this tall ass hot guy on top of his best friend, her legs wrapped around him like a vice.

Both their heads were turned to look at Finn as he stumbled backwards, hard, into the doorframe, hitting his shoulder, his face turning red with embarrassment and pain as he grabbed his shoulder and booked it out of her apartment shouting “Whoa, sorry. Shit Rey, lock your door if you’re gonna be doing THAT,” the front door slamming behind him, and opening again as he called out “Uh, nice to meet you, Ren!” before shutting it again.

Rey contained a laugh and had a huge smile as Kylo grinned down at her. “So...that was Finn!”

He put his lips back on hers, eliciting a moan from her as his hand began moving under her dress and her hand started stroking his throbbing cock again, pulling it from his underwear as she used her feet to shove his pants and boxer briefs down off his ass.

“Rey,” he sighed into her open mouth as she arched her back and dug her nails into his lower back.

“I need you inside me,” she moaned.

She stroked his cock again as he pulled her short dress up around her hips, she had his length in her hand and was smearing his pre-cum against her wet slit, rutting herself with it, breathing hard as it rubbed against her sensitive clit, throwing her head back. She pushed his cock down to her hole, and pulled him into her with her strong legs that had him enveloped. _Screw getting all the way undressed_ , she thought, _this was fucking hot._

He ran a hand from her thigh high up her bare skin, over her dress and to her left shoulder, wrapping it under her back and grabbing her shoulder to give him leverage to push into her, arcing up and pressing all of his length into her burying his cock to the hilt as she cried out from the pleasure over and over. _He loved how she looked when he was fucking her, as she was coming undone underneath him_.

She grabbed his ass with both hands, loving feeling his muscles contract as he pumped into her, hitting her spot inside and her clit at the same time with the motion. She felt the heat pooling in her, blood rushing to her sensitive parts and making every brush of clothing and slap of skin feel exquisite to her.

“God Rey, you feel so good,” he moaned. _It had only been three days since they’d done this but it felt like a lifetime._

“Ben, oh my god, oh, oh Bennnn…” She was close he could tell, panting into his neck, her pussy walls tightening on him and her fingernails scratching up his back underneath his t-shirt. He was grabbing her hips and angling down into her, and wouldn’t last long like this.

She screamed his name, digging her nails into his shoulders hard and arching up to meet his thundering hips as he released into her with a groan, both of them shaking and moaning as he planted kisses on her damp forehead and hair and she tangled her fingers in his dark hair, stroking his scalp.

He started to pull back from her, but she kept him where he was, pulling him onto her. “Stay, Ben,” she murmured in his ear. “Just like this.”

\---

It was Thursday around 2 pm. She knew he had drop in office hours right now and was walking down the hall of the English department building towards his office. The door was open and she heard three girls inside all trying to talk to him at once. She stalled in the hallway, smiling to herself as she reached into her bag for a paper she had written for another class. She was glad she wore a skirt today.

She strode to the doorway, assessing the scene of Kylo at his desk, exasperated with the chattering girls, when he looked up to see her. He was wearing a lighter grey dress shirt with his sleeves pushed up to his elbows, a slightly loosened black tie, charcoal dress pants, a black belt and black dress shoes. _Very professorial_ , she noted. _Perfect_.

“Professor Ren? I really need to discuss my paper with you. It’s kind of...urgent.” 

He contained a wicked smile as the girls turned in horror, looking Rey up and down, their eyes flashing from Kylo to Rey, disappointed that this interloper had captured his attention. 

“I’m sorry ladies, that’s all the time I have today, as Miss Rey here has made a prior appointment with me.”

Rey smiled and moved inside the doorway as the girls gathered their things and brushed past her.

“Please, shut the door and come in so we can go over your paper.”

She shut the door and clicked the lock, dropping her book bag to the floor as she unbuttoned the top few buttons on her blouse to expose her black lace bra before turning back around to him. She strode past the chairs in front of his desk, laying her paper on the wood desk as he studied her. She placed her hands on either side of the paper, bending forward to give him a look down her unbuttoned blouse.

“I was hoping we could discuss my grade on my latest paper? I’m on scholarship and if I don’t get a higher grade, I could get kicked out of school.”

“Is that so?” he said, leaning forward in his chair, his eyes dark with lust and amusement. He held out his hand and motioned to her. “Why don’t I take another look at this paper?”

She straightened up and unbuttoned another button, walking around his desk to him, carrying her paper. She pushed his chair back and stood in between his legs, dropping the paper behind her on the desk.

“But professor, is there anything _else_ I could do for a better grade?” she purred, looking at the growing bulge in his pants. He smiled and spun her around by the hips, standing and pushing her forward up to his desk, his erection digging into her rear and making her gasp.

“So now you want to play the naughty student who's fucking her professor?” he growled in her ear.

She bit her lip and nodded wantonly, begging him with her eyes to fuck her right here on his desk. She lifted her left knee up onto the desk, angling her sex at him as she reached behind her to grope him through his pants. He had his hands in her unbuttoned blouse, fondling her tits underneath her black lace bra. She moaned as he pushed his hard erection against her.

“You want your professor’s cock, don’t you, you naughty slut?” 

“Yes p-please professor Ren.”

“You’re going to have to be quiet then, we don’t want everyone knowing you’re getting fucked in my office, bent over my desk like a greedy little whore.” 

She was panting hard now. _This_   _was so hot_.

He has untying his tie. “Open your mouth.” He commanded and she was only too eager to obey, and he stifled her moan with his tie as he began toying with her clit through her panties.

“Look at these wet panties and I’ve barely touched you, you eager little slut” he breathed into her ear sending chills through her entire body as he pulled them off of her, putting her leg back up on his desk as he unzipped his pants and drew out his hard cock, teasing her wet entrance with the tip. “Let’s see if we can change that grade to an A.”

\--- 

Walking to his car in the faculty lot behind the English building twenty minutes later, Rey tried to maintain her distance since they, well mostly he, attracted a lot of attention. But he kept brushing his fingers against hers forcing her to take a step to the side. “Let’s just keep a low profile on campus please,” she said through her teeth as if people were watching her trying to read her lips.

He raised his eyebrows at her and smirked. _Bursting into my office for sex during my office hours wasn’t exactly low profile, Rey._  

She stared straight ahead but blushed as if she could read his thoughts. They crossed the street to the parking lot and as they neared his car, the three girls who were in his office earlier spotted them from a distance.

“Ohmygod look! It’s Professor Ren with that girl from his office,” said the first.

“No freaking way. How the hell did she manage that?” complained another. 

“Seriously?” the third wailed.

“Oh I’m taking a picture of this! For evidence,” said the first girl again as she hit the camera button on her phone as Kylo held the passenger door open for Rey and she brushed by his face, smiling as she got in and he shut the door and walked to the driver’s side.

“Ugh. I can’t believe this. I’ve been trying to get him to notice me all year,” the third girl moped.

“Cheer up sweetie,” the first girl replied, flashing the picture she took at her with a wicked grin. "Now we know he dates his students." 

\---

"You were absolutely right coming to me with this information Chelsey," Hux said, sneering at the disgusting photo on the girl's phone. 

"I just know you're Professor Ren's teaching assistant and thought maybe you could talk to him before he gets in trouble for this," the girl beamed at him. _The ginger TA was kind of sexy with his near constant state of annoyance. He would probably make for a great hate fuck,_  she thought.

"Yes, well, I will see that this matter is handled properly. In return, I ask you not speak of it further or show this to anyone." He hit the garbage can icon in the corner of the photo, deleting it before she could protest. _The garbage was exactly where this belonged_ , he thought. _I can't believe I have to put up with this charade when I should be running the FOIA by now, not trailing around after Ren still after all these years, cleaning up his messes._

Hux turned down the hall to go investigate Ren's office for evidence of any _untoward behavior_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh Hux is on the trail - and he's known Kylo for years?! Dun dun dun.


	9. I Want To Take Care Of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long to write, hope you all enjoy it! Thank you so much to everyone reading this and taking the time to comment, it means so much to me! I'm on tumblr as forceisstronginthem if you want to follow me there! :)

That night Kylo takes Rey to a little restaurant in Chinatown that he likes for dim sum. He orders for them off of the menu which is basically all in Chinese and Rey is impressed. They talk about her upcoming art show at the end of the month, and his dissertation and graduation.

“Are you inviting your parents to your graduation?” she asks. She’s curious to meet his mom and dad, curious about their strained relationship but knows they would probably be very proud of their son getting his doctorate degree.

His eyes darken a bit and his lips twitch they way they always do when she mentions his family or things he doesn’t particularly want to talk about. He sighs. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Oh.” She bites her lip and smiles at him, putting her hand on his on the table and there it is again, that connection, that feeling that she’s never felt with anyone else in the world and he hasn’t either. She wants to soothe his fears and help him get over his painful past.

“Ben...maybe it would be a good opportunity to mend things with them?”

“Maybe…” he manages a weak smile, like it’s hard for him to even think about them. She decides to drop it for now.

“There’s a formal gala for the doctoral students after graduation,” he says changing the subject slightly. “I want to take you.” He’s stroking her hand and she beams at him, a huge smile crossing her face, nodding happily.

“Well, I want you to come to my art show at the end of the month. It’s fancy and I’m exhibiting my final pieces from this year.”

“Of course.” He’s getting lost in her eyes which are sparkling with excitement.

The check comes along with two fortune cookies. Rey always loves seeing what her fortune will be so she excitedly grabs for hers and puts the other in front of Ben.

He smirks at her as she cracks her cookie open and pulls out the little piece of paper and reads it out loud.

_You will travel to many exotic places_

He smiles as she lights up even more, giggling excitedly at her fortune. “I have a feeling that’s true.”

“Now you,” she grins, pushing his fortune cookie in front of him.

He rolls his eyes and reaches for the cookie, cracking it and pulling out the fortune which looks so tiny in his large hands. She’s waiting and smiling at him in anticipation, but he merely gives her a tired smile and shoves it in his pocket.

“Well, what did yours say?”

He shakes his head and grabs her hand. “Nothing of importance.”

She tsks at him and reaches for his pocket but he blocks her hand. “Come on!”

He stares at her, his gaze intense but she also sees he is unsure, a small smile at the corners of his mouth.

“It’s silly. It just said “ _your greatest wish will come true_.”

“Oh,” she says, giving him a puzzled look.  _Then why the secrecy?_ “Well that’s good! What’s your wish?”

“I think it already came true,” he says slowly, staring into her eyes as he kisses her hand, making her feel tingly and warm all over.

After dinner they go back to his place when he practically begs her to stay the night. His bed just doesn’t feel the same without her and his big house feels even more empty and cold when she’s not there with him now.

“Maybe I should keep like a nightshirt and a change of clothes at your place, so I don’t have to always do the walk of shame back into my building the next day,” she jokes with him.

“I cleared out a spot for you in my closet - you can leave whatever you like here.”

She stares at him in shock and a bit of awe, her mouth slightly hanging open. “You didn’t have to do that,” she says.

“I know,” he says softly, wrapping his fingers through hers. “I wanted to.”

She kisses him slowly, at a loss for what to say. “Thank you,” she whispers as she caresses his face and presses his forehead down to hers.

He takes his blazer off, tossing it on the bed as he loosens his tie. “You can go see, if you want,” he smiles.

She grabs his blazer and kisses him again, standing on her bare tiptoes to reach him. “I’ll just hang this up for you, _honey_ ,” she says only half joking at the newfound domesticity he’s offering her. A few years ago she barely had a home or anything to call her own, and now she had a grown, gorgeous, generous _man_ practically begging her to stay over with him and making space metaphorically and physically for her in his life.

Rey walked into the huge closet, flipping on the light and drawing in a breath when she sees that he cleared out a whole large section for her. She thinks of her small closet at her own apartment and how everything she owned wouldn’t even manage to fit in the space.

She reaches for an empty wood hanger in the blazer and jacket section of his closet and starts to put the blazer on it when she remembers how weird he was acting about his fortune at the restaurant. She checks to make sure he’s not behind her and quickly puts her hand in the pocket, finding the tiny slip of paper. She holds her breath as she reads it.

_You will marry your lover._

She draws in a sharp breath and shoves it back in the pocket, hanging the blazer up quickly and hurrying out of the closet when she almost runs into him as he’s coming in to put his tie away. _Chill out Rey, it’s just a stupid fortune cookie. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out._

“Do you like it?” he says hopefully.

She nods quickly and manages a weak smile, swallowing hard. She feels weak and a little nauseous. “I do, thank you Kylo.”

He looks at her incredulously, with a raised eyebrow. “So now I’m Kylo again?”

“Sorry...Ben. It’s easy to get confused.” She can’t seem to bring herself to make eye contact with him and seems shaky.

“Same person,” he smiles at her as he strokes her arms. She looks down at the carpet away from him. His hands still on her arms. “What’s wrong Rey? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just need, um, some water. I’m feeling lightheaded.” And then she’s swept up in his arms before she can protest and he’s carrying her bridal style to his bed. He lays her down gently, his face laced with concern as he kisses her forehead lightly.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back with some water,” he says leaving to go downstairs to the kitchen.

She rolls onto her side and looks out the windows at the city in the distance, reminding herself to breathe. _Why didn’t he want her to know what his fortune really said? And why was she freaking out about what it did say? Oh, maybe because she's only 20 and only just started dating him._ She remembers what he told her it had said - _your greatest wish will come true_ \- and closes her eyes to stop the spinning feeling, quickly falling asleep before he returns with the water.

\---

Kylo went through the motions at work the next day but felt a deepening sense of panic and loss of control threatening to take over. Rey was acting weird when they got to his house last night and this morning she seemed off still and he couldn’t help but worry.

 _What could he do to impress her, to keep her?_ _He couldn’t risk losing her now that he’d found her, now that he felt more whole than he ever had. She made him calm, and the thought of not having her was threatening that calm. He felt the old feelings simmering inside of him, the memories he worked so hard to repress returning to him, probably fueled right now by Hux’s continuing and irksome presence._

His thoughts were interrupted by Hux who had been lecturing him about something having to do with Rey and a picture some jealous student took of her getting in his car.

“Ren, are you listening to anything I’ve been saying?” Hux demanded.

“What?” Kylo snapped.

They glared at each other.

“You seem very distracted. Careful, Ren, that your personal interests don’t interfere with your job.” He sneered at Kylo. “You worked for a fucking _spy agency_ , I’d think you’d be better at exercising some _discretion_. That photo could have very well have made the rounds on social media already if it weren’t for me stepping in,” he flashed Rey’s discarded paper in his hand, waving it in front of Ren's face.

Kylo snatched the paper away angrily but calmly, stepping towards Hux and looming over him intimidatingly.

“For your sake, I’d avoid talking about my personal life and focus on your own job which is to be _my_ assistant.”

“Very well. But I’m not the one sleeping with a studen-”

“You’re dismissed Hux. She’s not _my_ student, as you are well aware. She’s my _girlfriend_.”

( _“I checked the registers,” Hux had told him. “Rey Kenobi isn’t taking any classes in this department. But that doesn’t make it any less tawdry, in my opinion.”_ )

Ren continued. “The school’s policy on this is clear - I’m not in a position of authority over her, we’re not in the same department, there’s no conflict of interest or abuse of power happening here.” Hux looked like he had swallowed bile. “And please keep in mind, _Hux_ , that I do have the power over your future promotions and that you work for _me_ _._ ”

Hux glared at him, swallowing again, choking down his bitterness and resentment. “Well then, I guess there’s nothing further to discuss on this subject.”

“No, there _isn’t_.” Kylo replied menacingly. “And I expect all 300 of those essays to be graded perfectly by Monday.” He pulled on his messenger bag and strode past Hux, bumping his shoulder slightly and leaving him standing there looking sour as ever.  

\---

Rey was sitting across campus in an engineering class, trying to concentrate but she she’s daydreaming of their sex session the day before in Kylo’s office and trying not to think about last night and her mild panic attack over his fortune cookie fortune. She takes her phone out of her bag and swipes it to unlock it, seeing if he’d texted her maybe. But he hadn’t. She opens her messages to him and taps out a message.

“I was just remembering yesterday in your office ;)”

She sees the “…” bubble come up almost immediately and smiles, biting her thumbnail while she waits for his response.

“I was just thinking about it too.”

“Mmm what about it?”

“Oh you know… just you bent over my desk, my tie in your mouth, your panties on the floor, your skirt pushed up and my cock inside of you while you moaned like a greedy slut ;)”

She realized she was breathing hard and clenching her thighs under her desk, a pool of moisture forming in her panties. She couldn’t sit here in this class anymore, listening to a boring lecture on Statistics for Engineers. She grabbed her bag and tried to leave the lecture hall as quickly and quietly as she could, the professor watching her as she hurried out the back doors, rushing through the empty hallway to the nearest bathroom.

“You’re making me so wet,” she texted with shaking fingers.

“I seem to have that effect on you. What were you remembering from yesterday?”

She goes into the ladies restroom, making sure she’s the only one in there before entering the stall furthest from the door and stands with her back against the door, dropping her bag to the floor, shoving her hand down her pants to her aching clit, rubbing it for relief as she closes her eyes and remembers the office tryst.

_“Look at these wet panties and I’ve barely touched you, you eager little slut” he breathed into her ear sending chills through her entire body as he pulled them off of her, putting her leg back up on his desk as he unzipped his pants and drew out his hard cock, teasing her wet entrance with the tip. “Let’s see if we can change that grade to an A.”_

_He grabbed her hips and kept his mouth on her neck as he shoved his cock into her, and she cried out against the fabric of his tie in her mouth. He thrust back into her again and she pushed her ass back towards him as he growled against the skin of her neck, biting her with just the right amount of pressure as he started thrusting faster._

_She bent forward from the force of his thrusts, her hands braced on the desk. He was starting to pound her, the slapping of skin reverberating in the office along with the muffled sounds of her moans and cries coming from her mouth._

_“I want to see you cum,” he breathed into her ear, biting her earlobe then licking it before he pulled out of her and turned her around, lifting her onto the desk and wrapping her legs around him before he pulled his tie out of her mouth. “I want to hear you cum, too.”_

_“Yes, professor,” she said huskily, her voice raw from her muffled moans and screams. He pushed back into her and kissed her hard, neither of them coming up for air as his fervent thrusts her body was only too happy to accept continued. She was all in his hair, her fingers scratching against his scalp and pulling his hair hard when he hit the spot inside her deep enough._

_“You like getting fucked by your professor, don’t you?”_

_“Ahh YES,” she cried out._

_“Shhhh…” he said, covering her mouth with one of his large hands. “You don’t want everyone to hear you fucking me and get kicked out of school do you?”_

_She shakes her head against his hand, her eyes wide and starting to water from the deep pressure building in her and the nearness of her orgasm. He takes the hand from her mouth and trails it down to her clit, rubbing circles with his thick fingers as she throws her head back gasping for air, her chest heaving up and down and she pulls her hands from his hair and braces them behind her on the desk. His other hand is at her lower back, still holding her near to him as he thrusts into her again and again as she’s arching her back._

_“If you want an A you’ll cum for me,” he whispers into her ear when he can tell she’s starting to come undone, his fingers still rubbing her clit as she’s breathing heavy and trying to keep quiet._

_“Oooohhh-” he cuts off her moans with his mouth pressed hard into hers as she starts to orgasm, her pussy gripping his cock tightly, her hands in his hair again as he moans in her mouth and thrusts hard into her again, spilling his hot cum inside her as she shakes and trembles against him._

_“Ohmygod,” she pants and he nods, kissing her neck as he holds her tightly to him._

“Ohmygod,” she gasps as she cums at the memory and from her own hand furiously rubbing at her swollen clit. She shoves her own two fingers into her wet hole, pulling them out and marveling at her slick cum on them. With her phone still in her other hand, she takes a picture of her wet fingers and sends it to him.

“Lick them for me,” he responds and she obeys, smiling.

“Yes, professor.”

\---

“What were your plans for the summer?”

It was Saturday and warm and sunny out. They were in his infinity edge pool, positioned behind his house at the edge of his property in the hills looking out on the surrounding treetops and down on the city below.

“Oh...I might take a class or two if my summer scholarship comes through. So I can graduate early next year. And...I need to work.”

“What if you didn’t?”

She froze in the water, suddenly scared. “Well, that’s the thing with being on a scholarship, it only covers the basics - tuition, books and housing. I have to work in the summer so I can have money to live on.” She dropped her eyes. She felt embarrassed explaining her financial situation to _him_ , who lived in a modern palace straight out of the pages of Architectural Digest magazine and who clearly had no shortage of money. It made the vast differences between them seem even more stark.

“What if you didn’t need to worry about that?” He said, moving closer to her, taking her wrist under the water and looking softly in her eyes.

“I don’t know…” she said hesitantly. _I’ve always taken care of myself_.

He put his forehead to hers, stroking her wet, wavy hair with his free hand as her interlaced his fingers with hers under the water. “I want to take care of you. And I can. Let me.”

She closed her eyes. She’d had so little in her life. Everything she had she had because of hard, sometimes _unbearable_ work and sacrifice. She wasn’t comfortable just being given things easily. The space in his closet was one thing, but this was a huge proposition. _What if he was as phantom-like as she feared deep down, and disappeared as quickly as he’d come into her life, taking everything away from her in an instant._

“What are _your_ plans for the summer?” she asked back at him, changing the subject slightly. She needed to know what he had in mind.

“I want to go somewhere with you, for at least a few weeks. Travel.” He smiled. “Spend all the time I can with you. I have the entire summer off, one of the perks of being a professor.”

“ _Doctor_ ,” she corrected him, smiling and her face lighting up at the mention of travel. She drew in a deep breath. “Where would you want to go?”

“Oh, lots of places. We don’t have to limit ourselves. But there’s this island I have in mind.”

Her eyes grew wide and she swallowed hard. “Island?” _Did he know about her island dreams at night, her daydreams, her one source of consolation back on Jakku when she dreamed of being anywhere else?_

“Yes. An island. Something secluded and private, where it’s just us, away from everyone and everything.” He moved his mouth to her neck, trailing his wet lips over her wet skin, down to her collarbone as she threw her head back and moaned slightly at the feel of his kisses and his tongue on her. His hands are on her her waist, playing with the ties of her white bikini, pulling her into him.

“Ben…” she gasps against his neck as she strokes his wet hair in between kisses.

“Say yes,” he whispers against her.

“I don’t kn-”

“Say yes Rey,” he says again, his dark eyes staring into hers, pleading.

 _Oh my god, I think I might love him_ , she realizes, nearly losing her breath as she looks at him. “Yes,” she smiles, “Yes, Ben.”

He kisses her, holding her tight like she’s just given him everything he’s ever needed.


	10. You Light My Darkness

“You make me so happy Rey,” Ben said against her skin as he kissed down her neck.

She moaned back a response, too delirious with excitement at the thought of traveling with him and at what he was doing to her body to form proper words. 

His hands played with the strings of her crocheted white bikini top, untying it and pulling it off of her so he could take a stiff nipple into his mouth. 

She buried her fingers in his wet hair, pulling him into her as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and gasped against his salty skin.

They were interupted by her cell ringing. She bit her lip and looked over his shoulder towards it. “Leave it Rey,” he whispered as his lips moved up and down her jaw and neck to her mouth. But it kept ringing. He groaned. 

“Sorry,” she apologized. “No one ever calls me it might be important.” 

He nodded and kissed her again. 

After toweling off, she checked her phone that was laying on a lounge chair. She had a couple missed calls and texts from Finn and Jess. 

Finn: We’re going to Cantina tonight, 8:00 - bring your hot professor. Miss your face Peanut!

Jess: Rey you have to come tonight! I am dying to meet your new boyfriend - Finn won’t tell me anything about him! So you better come out and bring this mystery guy ;)

“Everything okay?” he asked as he came up behind her, running his hands down her arms and resting his chin on her shoulder. 

“My friends want to meet you,” she said. “They want us to come out tonight.”

“To where?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed at her neck.

“Cantina.” 

He let out a groan and hung his head down. “That bar right by campus? The one with the cheap margaritas?”

She laughed, turning in his arms. “Yes. I want you to meet my friends. They are important to me. And it wouldn’t hurt to have a little fun.”

“I have fun with you all the time,” he grinned wickedly at her and bent down to nibble at her neck.

She put her hands on his bare chest and pushed him back, giving him a pleading look. How could he resist anything she wanted? He smiled and groaned. “What time are we meeting them?”

\--  
In the car on the way to Cantina, Ben was mostly silent as he drove. Rey was playing with his hand when he cleared his throat. 

“We should probably have you introduce me as Kylo and not Ben.” 

She looked over at him but he was looking straight ahead at the road. 

“I know…I mean, they kind of already know about you. I mean, us,” she corrected herself quickly as he glanced over at her. Us. The word was so foreign to her but she guessed they really were an “us” if he was meeting her friends. She had no family she can introduce him to, so they were the closest thing she had.

“Okay,” he said and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it.

\---

“Rey, what classes are you taking this summer?” Poe asks loudly over the festive music playing in the bar. 

“I, um actually…” she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and grabbed her margarita, taking a big sip. 

“Rey is going to travel with me for a few weeks,” Kylo said confidently, squeezing her knee.

They all looked at Rey with stunned expressions. Rey smiled nervously at Kylo and nodded. “Yeah, we’re going to travel this summer.”

Finn was the first to finally speak. “That’s cool - where are you guys going to?”

Rey shrugged and let out a little laugh. “I don’t really know yet, we just started talking about it this afternoon. I haven’t had time to process it yet. But an island?” she looked at Kylo who was looking at no one else but her. 

“It’s a private island called Ach-To,” he said. 

Jess began choking on a chip and had to wash it down with her margarita. “Private island? Holy sh- nice!!”

“I’ve flown around in the Caribbean quite a bit, that’s a gorgeous island.” Poe chimed in.

“It is, I knew Rey would love it,” Kylo said, rubbing her neck affectionately. 

“Awww, that’s so sweet! Rey’s always wanted to travel and she freaking is obsessed with islands aren’t you Rey?” Jess demanded.

“I, yeah, I guess...I’ve always wanted to go to an island...”

“And now you get to,” Finn finished for her. 

Kylo stood up and Rey stared up at him with a questioning look. “I’ll go order you guys another pitcher of margaritas.” 

“Thanks so much!!” Jess said smiling up to him, a little too enthusiastically. “That’s so nice! You’re like, so nice.”

“Thank you,” Rey mouthed silently at Kylo as he squeezed her shoulder.

“Ohmygod Rey you are so lucky!” Jess said loud enough for practically everyone in the bar to hear as Kylo walked away. “He’s freaking hot and he’s taking you to some private island? Does he have a brother for me? Identical twin?”

Rey blushed and shook her head no. “He’s an only child. And yeah, the island is for sure, but I guess we might go other places, too.” She smiled.

Finn was staring at her, looking disturbed. “So what about your summer classes? I thought you were trying to graduate early? Is that out the window now?” All of a sudden he was being so serious. Rey frowned at him, slightly annoyed at his big brother attitude. Hasn’t she finally earned some travel and fun and enjoyment in her life? Something good that’s all hers?

“I can take classes during the last part of the summer. Third session.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“And what, don’t you need to work at all? Or is that being taken care of for you too?”

“Finn!” She scolded him harshly. “I’m going to figure it all out okay? Just be happy for me right now please.”

He leaned forward across the table, holding out his hand for her to take. She rolled her eyes and flopped her hand into his. Finn’s voice was low with concern. “I am. You know that. But I’m also looking out for you.”

“Well thank you,” she said, pulling her hand away. “But I can look out for myself.” She paused before looking into his eyes again. “And so does Kylo.”

Finn frowned at her as Poe put a hand on his shoulder, massaging it and pulling Finn back in his chair while whispering something in his ear that Finn nodded at, sighing and softening his face. 

“Okay, Peanut. It all sounds great, really. I’m happy for you. Honestly.” He gave her a sincere but small smile and she knew he meant it but still was worried.

Rey weakly smiled back at him and then at Poe, grateful for his intervention. She sipped at her drink, trying to put it all behind her as Kylo returned with the next pitcher of margaritas. Jess eagerly jumped up to help him, bouncing out of her seat like a cheerleader off the bench at halftime. 

“So Rey says you’re going to be a doctor?” she trilled at him.

“Well, I’m getting my doctorate in English Lit, yes.” 

“That’s so cool!” she gushed, touching his bicep awkwardly as Kylo looked down at her unwelcome hand on him and started to move away.

“Maybe no more margaritas for Jess,” Poe jokingly suggested as Rey shot Jess a look telling her to tone it down. Jess laughed nervously, pulling her hand from Kylo’s arm in realization that she was shamelessly flirting with her friend’s boyfriend right in front of her. She plopped back into her chair, her face all flushed, and reached for her glass of water.

“Kylo, did you know that our Rey here wants to get her doctorate in Engineering?” Finn said, changing the subject.

Rey said nothing but squirmed in her chair and pulled down the hem of her skirt, glaring at Finn. Kylo looked at her and raised an eyebrow as he sat back down, scooting his chair so that his leg was touching hers and he put his arm on the back of her chair, tracing shapes on her left shoulder with his long fingers.

“I didn’t know that. She’s very smart and driven though, so I can see her doing that if she wants to,” Kylo said, rubbing her back reassuringly, trying to relieve her tension.

“It’s just a maybe,” she said, shaking her head at Finn. “You don’t really need a doctorate to work in the engineering field.” 

“Just a maybe? Since when?” Finn asked, scrunching his face.

Rey didn’t respond to him, instead she picked at a tortilla chip. He was really irritating her tonight and she was getting annoyed by the overbearing, overprotective act he had going on. 

The rest of the night went fine. Poe and Kylo hit it off because of their similar ages, Finn backs off of her, Jess calms down and stops flirting with Kylo opting to chat up a guy from her French class instead and they all ended up laughing.

\---

They were walking to his car in the parking lot, and Rey was good and buzzed from her margaritas as she clung to Ben with both arms with her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. When they got to his car, Rey pushed her back against the passenger door and wrapped her hands around his neck, playing with his hair and looking at him in the light of the street lamp as he stroked up and down her arms. 

“Thank you for meeting my friends.”

“Of course,” he put his palm to her face and stroked it with his thumb. “They were nice.”

“They usually are. Finn is being annoying.” 

“He cares about you. I get it. He thinks he’s doing the right thing.” 

She tilted her head. “But you don’t?” 

He shrugged. “Well I want you to travel with me and I’m glad we’re dating. And I think you can make your own decisions in your life.” 

“Me too,” she said pulling him by his collar down to her so she could kiss him. 

“Let’s stay at your place tonight,” he said as he pulled away.

“My place? I mean, okay but why?”

“It’s your place,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I like it there. And you haven’t had me stay the night yet.”

She smiled and kissed him again, thinking of how perfect he was and feeling the words she was holding back on the tip of her tongue. “That's because we’re always at your house.”

\--

Back at her apartment that night, Rey lay asleep on her stomach while Ben stared at her in the moonlight streaming through the windows. She looked so peaceful. He loved watching her sleep, it calmed him and he felt more whole than he had ever in his life. 

She stirred slightly and he reached out to brush her hair out of her face as he settled in closer next to her. He kissed her forehead softly and wrapped his arm around her. 

"You light my darkness Rey," he whispered. 

\--

It was finally the night of her big art show. Rey was standing at the edge of the gallery, surveying the crowd. She picked at her freshly painted nails. They were black, and she flicked them against the stem of her champagne flute. She was on her second glass, and in her rush to get ready for the show she realized she didn’t really eat much today so she was feeling buzzed. She tried to silence the little voice in her head that was nagging her. “Where is he?” His dissertation presentation was supposed to be over hours ago and he’d said he’d meet her here, but she hadn’t heard from him. 

She looked up and saw several people staring at her, running their eyes over her body. It’s the damn little black dress. And her Louboutin high heels. Now she wished Jess wouldn’t have insisted she buy it for the occasion. 

“You have to get it Rey - you’re to die for in it!” 

Rey stared at herself in the three-paneled mirror just outside of the dressing room, turning slowly from side to side. “It” was a black metallic lame skater dress that almost looks like leather with a collarbone skimming neckline, long sleeves with zippers running from the wrist to her elbow, a short pleated skirt and a diamond shaped open back. 

“I don’t know…you don’t think it’s too much??” she said, turning around.

“For an edgy art show? And you’re an artist? No Rey. It’s perfect!”

Rey smiled at Jess in the mirror. 

“Just think of what Kylo will do when he sees you in this,” Jess said grinning devilishly as Rey blushed and got warm just thinking of his fingers touching the skin of her bare back, tracing her spine and warming her skin. Rey has to admit she loved the jealous look Jess gave her when she realized just who it was Rey was dating as she walked into Cantina on Kylo’s arm. 

“Okay. I’m getting it.”

Jess clapped her hands excitedly and gave Rey a big hug. Rey was never a hugger, but Ben and Finn and Jess and Poe have all been so affectionate with her, she’s beginning to get used to it and realize she likes this in her life. That maybe she needs this in her life.

She finished her second glass of champagne and was tapping the empty flute with a finger when a waiter came by with a fresh tray of filled glasses and she grabbed another. She was about to drown her worry over Ben still not being here in her third glass, lifting it to her lips and taking a sip when she saw his tall form striding up the stairs, catching nearly every eye in the room as he stood at the top of the stairs, looking sexier than anyone had a right to with his hands in his pockets, chewing his lip and scanning the room for her. She had to remind herself to breathe as he saw her, eyes growing wide with recognition then hunger as he took the sight of her in. 

Okay, the dress was a good choice, she thought as he strode towards her, hands still in his pockets. He was in a slim cut black suit with white shirt and black tie. Now everyone was watching him walk towards her, and for once she loved it. He was only looking at her, and now he was before her, leaning in to give her a quick kiss as he stood next to her, putting a hand on her back, touching her bare skin and sending a thrill through her entire body.

“You’re late,” she protested, even though she didn’t really care about that at all now that he’s here and he’s touching her.

“You take my breath away,” he whispered in her ear, his fingertips tracing shapes on her open back.

“You’re forgiven,” she smiled at him, getting lost in his chocolate eyes that seem to see nothing but her. “How did your dissertation go?”

“Fine. Good. Where are your pieces?” he asked, looking around distractedly.

She pointed to one of her pieces nearby, a smaller junk metal sculpture that looked like a kind of metal tall-legged animal titled “At At”.

She tugged on his arm. “What does “fine” mean? Did they say “congratulations doctor” when you came back in the room?” she asked, smiling up at him. 

He took her champagne glass from her and took a big swig. “Yes they did.” 

Her eyes went wide and she threw her arms around his neck. “That’s amazing! Congratulations, I know you’ve worked so hard.” She tilted her head and stood on her toes to whisper into his ear. “We need to celebrate.” 

He gave her cheek a kiss. “We will. But now it’s your night. I want to see your other pieces.”

She took his hand and pulled him over to her big metal wall piece across the gallery. It had letters on it now in neon lights, curving in a sexy script across the patchwork metal wall, the light glowing a soft blue against the colors of steel and rust.

You light my darkness

“You put words on it…” he said, stunned.

“Yeah. Some cute guy told me I should,” she teased softly, curling her fingers through his left hand which was hanging at his side.

He was still staring up at it intently, not looking at her or saying anything. 

“Do you like it?” she asked nervously.

He swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. When he turned to look at her his face was a mixture of emotions she couldn’t begin to read.

“It’s amazing. Truly, Rey.”

“Because of you,” she said wrapping his arm around her waist and looking up at him.

“Me? No. I love the words but it was wonderful without them…”

“No...I mean...Ben, you inspired me. You brought this out in me.” She looked up into his eyes and swayed slightly, her fingers still entwined with his fingers behind her back. She waited for his response but accepted a kiss planted hard against her lips - there was something behind it, passion that was raw but also tenderness and unsteadiness.

“Where did you get that quote?” 

“I don’t know, it just came to me somehow. Like I heard it somewhere before.” 

He nodded and looked back to the piece, staring at it quietly for a few moments.

“I can leave now, do you want to get out of here?” she asked. 

“In a minute.” He looked behind her across the room. “I see someone here from the dissertation committee that I didn’t get to speak to earlier, do you mind? It won’t take long.” 

She nodded as he untangled his fingers from hers and walked over to the man across the room. She sighed lightly and looked back to her piece, which she had titled Light. She was looking it over when a tall thin redheaded man sidled up to her. 

“Incredible piece,” he said with his accented voice, looking it up and down. “By far the most interesting one here. Don’t you agree?” he said turning his eyes to her.

“Well, it’s my piece so it would be hard for me to agree. But thank you.” She paused as he kept staring at her. “Pardon, but have we met?”

“Armitage Hux.” he shot out his hand stiffly, with almost a military feel.

She lightly shook his hand before pulling her own hand away quickly. “Nice to meet you.”

He looked impatiently at her. “You haven’t introduced yourself, but I can see from the title of the work that you must be Rey Kenobi. I’m sure you’ve heard about me from our mutual acquaintance.”

“Oh?” She said surprised and a little annoyed at the game he seemed to be playing with her. “Do we have a mutual acquaintance? And who might that be?”

He nodded his head across the room. “Kylo Ren.” 

Rey turned around to see Kylo’s back to her. He was speaking quite intently with an elderly, tall yet slight, bald man. The man’s eyes caught her own, and she tried to suppress the feeling that something sinister had just flashed across them. She broke off the gaze and turned to Hux. 

“And how do you know Ben?” she asked distractedly.

A wicked smile crossed his lips. “Don’t you mean Ren?” he said slowly.

Rey tried to keep her face from betraying her panic, but Hux looked like a shark who had sensed blood in the water.

“That’s what I said,” she shot back at him.

“Of course you did,” he smiled at her before turning his eyes back towards Kylo. He took a step closer to her, looming over her slightly while whispering into her ear, “your secret is safe with me.” 

“I don’t have a secret,” she said impetuously, stepping back from his closeness. 

“But your boyfriend does. Quite a few in fact.” 

He smiled cruelly as he stepped back away from her personal space, clearly loving her reaction at his words. “Don’t worry Rey, he hardly ever chooses duty over personal relationships. I’m sure you’ll be meeting his dear parents any day now.” His words dripped with sarcasm. 

“It was a pleasure to meet you Miss Kenobi. Hopefully I’ll see you again. At the graduation gala, perhaps.” Hux smirked one last time at her as she stood there, summoning everything she had in her not to punch him square in his smug ginger face as he passed by her.

A second later, she felt Kylo’s hand on her back and she shuddered at the contact. “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

“I met your friend Hux.”

He groaned and looked around. “Did you? He’s most definitely not a friend. He’s my research assistant and quite frankly, a pain in my ass.”

“I can see how that would be.” 

“What did he say to you?”

“That you have a lot of secrets.”

“Well, you know them all.” 

“Do I?” she said as she watched the old bald man’s head disappear as he walked down the stairs with Hux, who shot her a parting smirk over his shoulder. “How does he know about them?”

“Hux worked at the agency with me.” His jaw stiffened.

“And he left that job, to what, follow you here and be your lowly research assistant?” she asked, her voice incredulous with a touch of anger.

“Rey, it’s complicated,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair.

She shot him a look through narrowed eyes.

“He works for my old boss. Snoke. Who is on the board of trustees here. That is who I was just speaking with.”

“And why is Hux your research assistant if you can’t stand him?”

“For one thing you can’t pick your research assistant. They are assigned. And Snoke had him assigned to me.”

“Your old boss. From the agency.” She swallowed and refocused. “Clearly he wants to keep tabs on you.”

Kylo gave her a defeated smile. “That’s all he’s ever done.” 

The way he said that gave her pause, but she didn’t want to get off track from trying to wrap her head around all of this. 

“Ben, I just don’t see how you can say you’ve left all that behind you if-”

“REY!” She heard Jess cry out, interrupting her. “This is so amazing, your pieces are so good!” 

Rey put on a smile as Jess cut in between her and Kylo, wrapping her in an enthusiastic hug. 

“Finn, Poe, over here!” Jess called to them. Finn was looking very dapper in a purple suit - he was never afraid of being bold and it was one of the things Rey loved about him. Poe looked sauve as ever alongside Finn in a navy suit. 

“Amazing work Peanut,” Finn said giving her a big bear hug. “So proud of you!”

“We’re taking you out to celebrate!” Jess clapped. 

“Oh, well, Kylo and I were...” she stammered.

Kylo cleared his throat. “Actually, I have to go to a reception for the doctoral students. So you guys have fun.” He strode up to her and gave her a light squeeze, and a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“We’ll take good care of her and get her home safe,” Finn promised Kylo.

“Thanks guys.”

Rey watched him leave without turning around to look at her, and felt like she’d just been left behind like an unwanted item he never meant to buy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long, long delay in posting. I was finally inspired to finish this chapter tonight! Sexy times to return in the next chapter. Thanks as always for your kudos and comments!


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